genius, yo.

This week I'm pretty sure I proved to the world that I am a genius.  Why am I a genius?  Because I do smart things. That's what makes you a genius.  You wouldn't understand...unless you are a genius, too.

ANYWAY.

First Example of Geniusness:

This week I had to work in the evening.  I NEVER, I repeat, NEVER have to work in the evening. Which is quite excellent.  But this one time I did.  Have to work in the evening, that is.  I went to this seminar for the College of Engineering and Technology.  Since I have already established the fact that I am a genius, I am sure that you are assuming it was a wonderful seminar about engineering stuff and big words and complicated information that only geniuses would understand.  Alas, such was not the case.  It was actually called Dress for Success.  When I first heard that title, I assumed it was something about how to act professional and tips for writing a resume and stuff.  But no.  It was actually really just about how to dress.  It was kiiiiiiiind of a amazing.  I learned many things, specifically things about men's fashion.  Which of course meant that it was time to buy Levi some new clothes.  Church clothes to be precise!  Oh how excited I was!

So the very next day we had to take my brother to JC Penney to return some pants, so we were like, what the heck. Let's check to see if they have anything good.  LITTLE DID I KNOW, we happened to get there an hour after the ultimate doorbuster sale started where everything was 60% off!  Man, am I good or what?  Because we all know only a genius would have known to come to JC Penney at that exact time to see a sale that was only going to last until 1 pm the next day.  Aaaaaand we found some awesome pants, a shirt, and a tie for a STILL OF A DILL.  Plus also, Levi looks most excellent in his new business attire if I do say so myself.

Oh, and Tom came with us, hence the awesome snapchat seen above.

Second Example of Geniusness:

The other day I was sitting at work when Katie came to visit me. You see, I eat lunch with Katie Cutler every day (except for on Fridays when I eat lunch with my little brother, but that's beside the point).  The point is that on that particular day I had gone to eat lunch with my old boss who is the greatest and who I miss so very much.  Anyway, because of that, Katie came by and visited me at work (also, she brought along her bathrobe/martial arts uniform because OH YEAH. She's taking a martial arts class. Please.  Let the images of Katie doing martial arts begin to flow within your mind.). So there she was talking to me, when she discovered my business cards.  Yes, friends.  That's right. I have a business card.  I mean, maaaaaybe the printing company made a small error, but it's nothing really.  It was an easy fix.  See?

And as my parting news to you, I would like to inform you of the fact that today I worked at the Career Fair checking people in for six hours today.  For the record, I checked in 833 people in six hours, and about 700 in the first four hours.  Can I just do a little math for you and inform you that I checked in about three people a minute (also side note, I did that math super quickly in the bathroom a little while ago so hopefully it's right), which might not sound that bad, but please remember that I had to do this shpeel pleasantly EVERY SINGLE TIME:

"Hi. What's you major? (make sure it's an engineering major, otherwise "You're going to want to check in at that table right over there) Awesome. Do you have your ID card?  Great.  Maps and name tags are right over here, and then you're going to need to check any bags or backpacks in in the room across the hall."  Also I had to repeatedly yell to the masses of people that "I can take any engineering majors over here!" and "Please be sure to have your ID cards out and ready!" over and over and over and OVER.  It was awesome.  No, but really.  I strangely enjoy stuff like that.  Call me cray cray.  The only bummer was the fact that I had to wear a skirt and I just don't like wearing skirts to work.  Also, I probs should have worn heels.  But I drew the line at heels because ain't nobody got time for that.  Also, in case you were curious, YES. I did work out this morning and YES. I did consume two full water bottles while doing so and so YES. I did need to go to the bathroom so very extremely one million much the whole day.  Thank you so much for asking.

Late sleeve

It has come to my attention that I have not blogged in a few weeks.  In fact, I was the one who brought that to my attention. How very kind of me.

Anyway, I don't really have a good post to post, but I do have some pictures. So how about that instead?

Levi likes to play the guitar.  Sometimes he likes to sing, too.  Sometimes he also likes to change the words.  For example, the other week he changed "That's What Makes You Beautiful" to "That's What Makes Me Beautiful" and sang about himself.  Also, today I could not find my housing contract to save my life. So he sang that song that has that line, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" except it was "I Still Haven't Found My Connnntract". So that was good.

Also, Levi had his birthday recently and these were his gifts.  I'm so glad that Danielle kept all her bags from Christmas and from her bridal shower and then conveniently left them in our apartment so that I could use them.  Also, talk about classy wrapping, am I right? Also, his gifts were all clothes.

These are my sense of wonder bushes.  Every day during sophomore year, we would walk down this street on the way to and from school. Those bushes were cool because they would change colors.  There was purple, red, green, yellow, and orange.  I thought they were the coolest bushes and I would always touch them as me and Rach walked past.  The only problem was that they were also prickly bushes.  And I would often get poked by them.  But apparently that was not enough to deter me from continuing to touch them every day.  I was clearly quite confused.

 

So on my way to work, I pass by all the young EFY children doing their scripture study.  These two pictures are from two different days and I'm fairly confident that it is the same girl.  Something tells me she was not getting the most out her study.  Also something tells me that she doesn't quite understand that lying down in the middle of the sidewalk is not generally socially accepted.

Speaking of walking to work...I work! And this is my new ID card!  And it's not a student ID, it's an employee ID!  It's pretty exciting.  I'm really liking my new job.  There is still a ton to be learned, but I think I'll get the hang of it eventually.  I miss my Chemistry folks, but I'm making the adjustment to hanging out with my new technology friends. Also, I think I'm going to like having my own desk that I don't have to share with anyone else!

Also, our friend Lizzy gave us a delicious bundt cake with fresh peaches on the bottom!  But according to this picture, Levi was pretty ticked about it.

We had a relief Society activity last Wednesday to Chick-fil-a!  Here's the thing though: lately I have been one million obsessed with any kind of fried or battered chicken like whoa. But seriously.  I'm not kidding when I say that every time we've gone out to dinner for like the past two months (which, by the way, is not that many times), all I ever want to get is some type of fried-ish chicken.  Talk about healthy choices, am I right?  Also, the Chick-fil-a in the Cougareat (the campus food court) opened this week!! Talk about one million amazing!!  Anyway, at this Relief Society I managed to eat 16--yes, 16!--Chick-fil-a nuggets like it was no big deal.  They were so super great.  Anyway, I should probably be a little ashamed of how much fried chicken I eat these days, but I'm actually totally not.

Katie and Kelsey are home from their missions!! I have returned missionary roommates!  What the?!  Katie is back from South Korea and Kelsey is back from Latvia!  We got to have lunch the other day and it was fantastic.  Man, I love those girls. I have so much fun with them (oh, and also I had Chick-fil-a). Unfortunately, Katie forgot to share her dried octopus with me.  I was so super bummed about that.  Psych.

Also, this girl was telling me about how she misses South Korea because all the people that lived there loved to stare at her blonde hair.  She misses being the center of attention.  That girl.

Also, my family will never believe this, but yesterday I made meatloaf for dinner.  I know, after all the horror stories about the time my brothers and I got terribly sick after eating meatloaf, you would never think that I would make it.  But these were mini BBQ cheddar meatloaves and they were quite delicious.  Also, we had baked?/roasted? broccoli and it was really good.  As the blog that I got the idea from said, "They're like french fries, except healthier!"  They were actually quite delicious.  I would def prefer them over plain steamed broccoli.

Also, apparently Levi was ticked about this food, too.

Anyway, that's the latest from me!  We're approaching the end of summer (yikes!) which means that school starts (except not for me!).  That means Levi will go back to school and he'll have to start training for rugby, but it also means that my little brother will be living out here for school!  It also means that Provo will be busy again!  I do love summer, but I kind of like it when everyone is back.  Alllllllso, school starting means that fall is approaching and fall is like THE literal best season.  I get so excited for fall weather, it's not even funny.  I can't wait to wear cardigans, you have NO idea.  Cardigan weather is my favorite whether, I'll tell you what.  Also, I can't wait to wear boots and to eat lots and lots of food with pumpkin in it! Guys, I can't wait.

Also, side note: I started this post on my phone (but def didn't finish it there) and I didn't know what to do for a title so I just wrote "Lately", but figured I would change it later.  But then it autocorrected to Late Sleeve and I thought it was funny, so it's staying.

Oh and one last side note: I have no idea why my pictures won't be centered, but just go with it, okay?

soc lab for lyfe!

(fellow seniors that worked for Dr. Call)

Yesterday was my last day as a research assistant for my main man Dr. Call.  Yesterday we had a birthday party for him slash a going away party for Alice and me.  I have loved working in that lab.  There have been so many long hours and crazy stories and awkward telephone interviews with survey respondents in that room.  I've been teased for hours, told a million jokes, had a pet brick, had a million different kinds of parties (including the "C" party where all food had to start with a C!), had Derek's skin flakes all over me (gag!), played that weird guess the disnesy song game, listed to far too many hours of Celine Dion, got a million paper cuts from those surveys, and have made some of the best friends.

I've spent hours and hours and hooooours in Dr. Call's office talking about the huge codebooks for all his surveys (I know you don't know what that is, but let me just tell you that it's a huuuuge project), I've also spent hours in there talking about a research project I did, and I've spent hours listening to his hilariously dry humor and his amazing jokes told with a straight face.

I know that this sounds terribly self-centered and also cheesy, but I lived for the days when I would say something or make a joke and I would see that smile on his face. I was especially proud because I was the one who had put it there.  The way his eyes would light up killed me.  He's grandpa-aged and has a nice belly and a slow walk and I just love it all.  I loved how happy he'd get when we would joke during codebook meetings and I love even more when he would get so happy after we laughed at his jokes because he was terribly proud of himself for making us laugh.

I know he thinks I'm crazy but I hope and think he kind of loves it.  Like the time I chased him down after his class downstairs because I wanted him to let me go into his office to get the leftover treats from a seminar.  As in, I took the elevator down to the basement of the JFSB, walked out into the hall, saw him coming and then suddenly realized that I looked like a fool.  But then he saw me and there was no turning back and I just held out the empty treat plate that had been in the lab and I was like, "Um, I came down to find you because I heard you had treats and I wanted them and I have to go to class soon and I've been waiting outside your office and I was afraid you had gone to another class and  well, I just wanted some treats because we're out in the lab."  And he simply chuckled and smiled that adorable Dr. Call smile and said, "I can help you with that."  And I felt a little embarrassed that I had just hunted a professor down but that guy is my pal and it was alright.  I mean, he chuckled most of the elevator ride back up to his office but I loved it.

And then there was the time that he emailed me and asked me to come to his office the next day and I had no idea why and was actually a little nervous because the way he emails sometimes, sheesh!  So that email just said, "Come see me..." and that was it!  I mean, stressful!  And with the dot dot dot bidness!  The man knows how to give a girl a heart attack because I had absolutely no idea what that meant, but I went to his office the next day anyway.  When I got there he relieved my fears by telling me that there had been some mix-up about the hours I had been working that had since been resolved.  And then he said, "I suppose I could have emailed you and told you that it had been fixed, but hey, this gave you a reason to stop by and that's always fun for me!"  Straight up melted me heart right there. That guy.

Oh, and one other thing.  Us graduating seniors gave him a going away gift, which was a survey about us because, you know, all we do is survey research, so it was kind of perfect.  And when he was reading it he got all kinds of teary-eyed and most people couldn't see it, but I did and I loved it.  He's just the best.

I'm terrible at change, you guys.  Truly awful. And not being able to work with Dr. Call anymore makes me super sad and I miss him already.  So right now it just hurts a little bit because working for that guy has been such a blessing and such a great experience and seriously so fun.  But I guess sometimes pages have to be turned and chapters of our lives have to end.  And while it's literally the worst thing for me right now, I'm just grateful for the experience.

When I was leaving yesterday, Dr. Call asked me to walk with him to his office so he could say goodbye.  We talked and the last thing he did was give a great big sigh and then he said, "Well, good luck with whatever your future holds.  We're going to miss your smile...and your laugh, that's for sure."  At this point I couldn't say anything because I'm pathetic and was getting teary-eyed.  He just smiled his smile while I smiled at him and managed to get out a little "thank you". 

And then we both turned and went our separate ways.  

But I'm never going to forget those last words because dang it, I love that guy.

scary story.

Today while I was at work, I had to go up to the second floor, so I headed to the stairwell and started walking up.  It's one of those loud and echo-y stairwells where every sound is loud and exaggerated.  I walked up the stairs thinking about who even knows what but I was straight up in my own world. As I got to the second floor landing, I grabbed the door handle while looking to my right up the next flight of stairs.  As I did so, the door suddenly flew open, which made the loudest and screechiest and echo-i-est sound and SERIOUSLY scared me out of my mind.  I looked toward the door and immediately did that thing where I covered my eyes and jumped backward.  I hit the wall and almost tripped up the stairs.  And I did all of this before I could even recognize that the person coming out of the door was Dr. G.

"You scared me so bad!! Why?!! Why does this happen to me?!"

And instead of an apology, all I got was about 7 years of laughter from that guy.  He is the best and the worst all at the same time, it just kills me.  Oh, but he was loving it.

He laughed and laughed and laughed at me.
I glared and glared and glared at him.

He told me he would apologize, but it was just too funny and plus he'd "sent me through the roof" so many times before that an apology just wasn't worth the time.

It was the most ridiculous thing.  He said he'd promise to announce his presence whenever he came within 20 feet of the office door so that I could have time to mentally prepare myself for his presence.  I swear, I need like a sensor or something that beeps whenever someone comes within 20 feet of me, NOT A JOKE.

Once we got back to my desk and we had explained to Sue what had happened and how Dr. G. needed to stop scaring me or I was going to have a heart attack, he finally headed out of the office.  At about that time, Dr. B walked in and Dr. G. told her she needed to announce her presence before entering so as to keep me from going crazy.  After I told her about how jumpy I am, she told me about how she totally is too, and how she literally screamed in a movie theater recently while on a date.  The best part is that it was a kid's movie.

Then she tried to console my saying that because I'm so jumpy, it probably means that my "neurons are easily excitable...so that means you're just really smart."

And that my friends, is why working in the Chem Dept is the best thing ever.  We scare each other and then we talk about neurons and stuff.  Seriously. Best. place. ever.

------------
p.s. the above picture if from my freshman year when I walked out of the bathroom only to be pregnant smashed by Rach and Karie. So frightening.
p.p.s can we all please take a minute to remember another interaction I had with Dr. G?
Dr. G: "Hey Stace, do you want a donut?"
Me: "Um, duh! Yes!"
Dr. G: "I would offer you two, but we all know you'd be sugar high as a kite, so I'm not going to do that."
ha. love that guy.

secrets.

Every day on my way to work, I walk past a man who is also on his way to work.  Every single day.  And every single day, when we pass each each, we smile and nod. His nod is very quick and his smile is very slight.  We've walked past each other every day for the past two years.  I don't know where he works and I don't know where he is coming from, but apparently we both need to be at work at the same time every day and that's why we see each other.  He is probably 50 or something and I've always wondered about him.

I wonder if we'll ever say hello to each other or if we'll just keep nodding and smiling.  It makes me a little sad though because in two months I won't walk that way anymore and I won't get to see him every day and I'll miss that little part of my morning.  I don't know who he is or where he is going or what his story is. I don't know his name and I don't know if I'll ever speak a word to him.  And the same will be true for him; he'll probably never know my name or where I work or what my story is or how much I love that he is a consistent part of my morning.

And because we never talk, I sometimes feel like we're holding in a secret. Our own little secret that nobody knows, not even the two of us.

I like to imagine that he works at the business school and that he loves his job. I imagine that he is a well-loved professor and that the students like him for his quiet and polite manner. I imagine that he has a wife and kids at home who are proud of him for getting up so early every morning and walking to work and who can't wait for him to come home again.  I imagine that he has big goals and dreams still waiting for him and that he has high hopes for the future.  Those are the secrets I imagine him having.

And maybe they aren't really secrets, but since I don't know whether or not they're real, they're secrets to me.

And sometimes I think that the reason I imagine those secrets about him is because those are the kinds of secrets I wish for myself as well.

meeting justin bieber. not really, but it's kind of like that.

This is Zeb. And this is the day he kicked me in the chest. Jokes.

Okay, so we all know that I work in the Chemistry Dept, right?  I mean, I feel like I keep mentioning that but then sometimes I think new people are reading my blog which is probably just something I made up, but it makes me feel better about myself, so I'm probably going to tell you like 20 more times that I work in the Chemistry Dept. Just roll with it, aight?

So I work there and sometimes I have to walk through the halls of the building and I walk by classrooms and students and professors all the time.  We have three lecture halls in the building and lately we've had an issue with have the powerpoint clicker/laser pointer things going missing.  So the other day I was going around to the other lecture halls to see if they had extras in them.  Since we only use our lecture halls for chemistry classes on MWF, they are used for religion classes and biology and sports medicine and a bunch of other stuff on TTH.

So when I was going around looking for the clicker it was either a Tuesday or Thursday and I walked into a religion class.  Can I just mention that it amuses me that we have religion classes in a room that is all set up to have experiments and such.  Like, for example, the religion professor could totes wash his hands and light a bunsen burner if he wanted to, I mean nbd.  Anyway, this particular professor was actually my professor for three semesters when I was a freshman and a sophomore (so long ago!).  I took his classes with a bunch of my friends those years and we LOVED him. I mean, the guy was awesome.  But they were huge freshman classes and so he never knew any of us by name, but oh how I loved him!  I thought he was just the greatest, and the funniest and really quite inspirational.  He would always have someone pray before the class began and me and my friend Zeb (see picture above) always hoped that whoever was praying would bless the snacks that we were going to eat in that class even though there was a sign that said "No food or drink allowed", but oddly enough, they never did. Weird.  And in case you were judging us for eating in class, I j want to say that we were very mess-free eaters and plus the snacks helped me stay awake because we all know the sleep monsters can catch you no matter how riveting the professor is.

ANYWAY.  I walked in the other day and was talking to the professor about the clicker incident before his class started and he actually had two clickers and so I took it to the other class. And then the clicker went missing again so I did another search and unfortunately he didn't have it in his class, but we chatted for a bit.  And then another time he came down to the office because he had a question.  And then another time he came down because he needed to ask a favor.  And when he came in that time, he said, "Ah!  The official-looking girl!  Can you help me?!"  And of course I could and loved doing it because well, it was him and I think he's great.  I think my favorite thing was this morning when I had been running an errand and on my way back I happened to be walking into the building at the same time as him.  I smiled at him, not sure if he recognized me, and he said in response, "Good morning, official-looking Chemistry Department representative!"  I loved it.

ADDITIONALLY.  I also have a Women's Studies class (everyone should take it! it's really cool! it's not about bra-burning! seriously!).  Our class is held in one room, but when we watch parts of documentaries and such we go into the next room over.  And would you look at that!  That same fabulous professor has a class in that room right before my class.  And since I'm usually one of the first ones there, sometimes we chat.  At first he didn't realize that I was the girl from the Chemistry Dept and we would just normal style chat.  But then today, he was like, "Now I'm confused. You're the girl from the Chemistry Dept, aren't you?  I seem to see you everywhere!"  And then we chatted about Women's Studies and he told me I should go to this Women's Studies event tomorrow and I just liked it even more because you know what?  It's pretty cool when professors know you and they aren't even your teacher and don't actually have any real connection to you.  I mean, I just like it.  Plus, I've idolized the guy for the past 4.5 years. You know how there are some tweens (and teens and adults, actually) who dream about meeting Justin Bieber?  Yeah, this is pretty comparable to that, except I get to keep seeing the guy and he calls me "the official-looking girl".

Don't worry, we'll be on first name basis soon enough.

pine cone all up in my eyeball.

Alright, hooligans. This is the post you've all been waiting for.  Which is actually a bummer because sometimes I am the worst at telling stories so it's entirely possible that I got you all worked up for nothing.  But, whatevs. Let's do this.

So, on Monday morning I woke up at 6 (okay, 6:10) and got ready for work at 7:30 just like I do every day.  And just like every other day, my first thought when I got out of bed was, "I can't wait until I get home so I can take a nap."  It's weird because I say that seriously every day and then I very rarely take naps.  I should write a post about my nap-taking strategies sometime.  Or maybe not.  ANYWAY.  So I'm getting ready and as usually time flies and suddenly it is two minutes past the time I try to leave by--there's a whole strategy about getting out the door at the exact right time so that I can walk at a normal pace up the hill to work and get there at exactly 7:30.  Over the past three years I've seriously perfected it and can alter my speed depending on what time I leave. I impress even myself with my ability to do this. Ooh!  I should also write a post about the guy I walk past every morning!  Or maybe not. Oh my gosh, ANYWAY.

So it's two minutes after I'm supposed to leave so I'm running around and I grab my backpack and some fruit snacks (a very healthy choice) and I head out the door.  And seriously, as I'm walking across the living room to the door, I suddenly realize that I had a PINE CONE in my eye.  Okay, not a pinecone, but something.  You know how it is--you get something in your eye and so you have to like stick your finger in there and try to wipe it out and 99% of the time it's mascara, which is kind of a bummer for me because I'm that girl that loves mascara times one million.  Anyway, I took .3 seconds to look at it in the mirror on my way out the door but I couldn't see anything. So I just ran out the door and sped up to work.  I'm sure everyone that passed me thought I was on crazy pills because my eye was blinking like cray cray and watering and I kept sticking my finger in it to see if I could wipe out whatever crap was in there but TO NO AVAIL. So I walked into work (I'm a secretary in the chemistry department on campus) and my eye is watering and it freaking hurts, yo. Every time I blinked I was like, "I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life." I tried looking in a mirror in the bathroom real quick style, but I couldn't find anything so I basically resigned myself to eventual blindness as a result of the monster in my eye.

So a few minutes later, Dr. M walks in and was asking me to make some copies for him and then we were talking about the little google doodly image thing (you know, like Happy Birthday, Abraham Lincoln! on the google.com page or whatever). So we're just chatting about stuff and it was all fine and stuff, but after a little while I was like, "I'm sorry, but there is a pine cone in my eye right now and I can't get it out and it really hurts."  (Yes, I actually said there was a pine cone in my eye. Whyyyy???) He was like, "A pine cone?" and I was like, "Well, no not really.  It's probably an eyelash covered in a pound of mascara (the exaggerating continues...) but I can't see it and I don't know how to get it out."  So he was like, "Here, let me see if I can help you."

And so he proceeded to have me stand up and he had me pull my eyelid around and he tried to see if he could find it.  But again, nothing was to be found.  So I was like, "I guess it'll come out eventually."

Then a student came in and needed a laser pointer, so I tested one out and handed it to him and Dr. M. was like, "You know, when those are working with full batteries, they can damage someone's eyes from up to 1500 feet away."  Good to know.  Also, you're probs wondering why I mentioned this bit about the laser pointer, but don't worry, it comes in later.

After laser pointer kid left, Dr. M. was like, "Well if you want, we can get the eye wash out and then for sure it will be gone."

Side note: Do you guys know what an eye wash station is?  It's something that is found in labs (remember, I work with chemists) so if you accidentally get some cray cray chemical in yo eye, then you go to the eye wash station and it sprays into your eye from a variety of different angles. Seriously, google "eye wash station" and be amazed.

Anyway, that was nice of him to offer the eye wash but he knew I wouldn't take him up on the offer since "you seem to have some makeup on your eyes".  So, no on the eye wash, but while we were standing there talking about my eye, Dr. G. came in and was slightly confused by the fact that Dr. M. was staring into my eyes trying to find a pine cone.  Anyway, Dr. G. needed me to do something for him, but he was also pretty concerned about the pine cone so he told me I couldn't do anything until I got that taken care of.

So then they both left and I took care of a few things and then the pine cone was driving me cray to the cray cray so I headed to the bathroom to see if I could see anything.  Dr. M. had suggested I pull on my eyelashes and have my top eyelid slide over my bottom eyelid as a way of rubbing the mascara-laden eyelash off of the inside of my eyelid if that was where it was.  But I didn't want to be pulling at my eyelashes (all in the name of beauty!) so I was thinking maybe I could just pull on my eyelid instead of my eyelashes and maybs it would do the trick?

I was thinking about this as I walked toward the bathroom when all of a sudden I heard, "Stacy."  Since I was in my own world, that made me jump as I turned to see Dr. M. walking toward me. As I looked up at him, I saw that he was holding a laser pointer that was on and he was waving it in my direction and since I had just learned about how my eyes could be melted by those things, that made me jump again and cover my eyes, and shout out, "What the?!"  He was like, "Holy cow, are you okay?! I didn't realize I would scare you that bad! I was just bringing you this flashlight to help you to see into your eyelid better."  I then explained to him that I thought he was going to murder me with that flashlight because I thought it was a laser pointer and that I'm just easily scared in general plus I still had a pine cone in my eye, so basically I was just having a really confusing morning. Ha.

So I took the flashlight into the bathroom, did the whole pull-the-eyelid-out-and-scrape thing and somehow it worked!  The chunky mascara lash was out!  I was saved!  I was free to make copies and write emails and help people and do all other secretary needs free of a pine cone in my eye!  It was glorious! It was amazing!

I know you're probs like, that was a super one million long story and it really wasn't even that exciting and I understand that.  The reason I wrote this and the reason I love it is because of those professors.  They are seriously just my favorite people.  And they're not just professors to me; they're my friends.  Just like Sue, my boss, is my friend (there's no other way I would run a 5k with her in a few weeks if we weren't friends).  I mean, that whole department just makes me so happy.  I'm friends with 30+ professors who have Ph.D.'s and are all super geniuses and yet they still think I'm pretty neat and that let me joke with them and they let me be myself and they help me get pine cones out of my eyes and I just love them.  It's seriously the greatest place, I'm not even kidding.  There is no other place I know of where as many corny jokes are told or where professors do chemistry raps for their student while wearing their "gangsta" clothes (which includes a backwards Harvard hat--probs my favorite part of that outfit...so gangsta. Dr. W "Yeah, I wrote the redox rap and then I had someone edit it for me." Me: "Oh yeah, they had to take out all the bad words, didn't they?").

And then of course they're chemists so they can be a little geeky and they love to share interesting chemistry fun facts with me even though I won't get 90% of them.  They're super appreciative of the work I do for them and a lot of them take interest in my personal life and I love it.  Both professors and staff compliment me on my outfits regularly so it's pretty great place to boost my self-esteem (I especially like when some of the slightly older professors compliment me on my "blouse".  Idk why, but that word just sounds funny to me).  Then there are a few grumpier professors who might look intimidating to some, but to me I just think they're fabulous and they're so great and it just breaks my heart into a million pieces thinking about how I only have two more months of working there before I graduate.  I'm not even kidding, that's probably on my list of top two reasons why I wish I didn't have to graduate (Idk what else would be on that list, but I just thought I'd say top two reasons to be safe in case I come up with something better...which I doubt I will.)

Chemists are basically the greatest.  I'm not even kidding, I would go on a date with any guy who had taken at least one chemistry class at BYU--mostly because chemistry is so awesome but also partly because then we could talk about their professor...I am so weird.

So I guess what I'm saying is that it's nice to be valued and appreciated and treated like an equal in a job where yeah, 90% of the people are far more educated than I am and have done more with their lives than I have.  It's nice not to just be "the secretary", but to be "Stacy, the awesome secretary that we can't let graduate because then she will have to leave."  It just feels good.

p.s. after the whole pine cone incident, Dr. G. came back and was like, "I didn't realize you actually wore makeup."  I know he meant that to be a compliment, but I was kind of like, for real?  Do you think I don't take care of myself? Oh well, I still think he's great.
p.p.s. that picture is of me, Sue, and one of the other student secretaries. We're going to run/walk a 5k!  What are we getting ourselves into?
p.p.p.s. If you want to run the 5k with us, it's the Rex Lee Run put on by a part of the Chem Dept and you can register at rexleerun.byu.edu. It's going to be great!

knuckles.

fat-knuckled pool party in the summer. i am the weirdest.

When I was in fourth grade I heard that if you crack your knuckles then they will end up fat and gross.  Obviously that was mortifying, so at the very young age of 10 I made a new years resolution to stop cracking my knuckles as well as a new years resolution to stop biting my nails.

And guess what, foolz?  I did it.  Using much self control and perseverance, I successfully stopped biting my nails and cracking my knuckles. I mean, seriously. I did that!  I was ten!  And I did it! Seriously, I can still remember standing by the window in my fourth grade class and looking at my nails and being like, I can see white! Wild! And at the same time that I was looking at my nails I thought about how I could crack my knuckles at that moment, but I didn't want to!  It was seriously one of the greatest feelings and I was honestly SO one million proud of myself.

Wasn't that a great story with such a beautiful ending?

Well, if you think it was then stop thinking that because that is not the end and the real end is not beautiful.

A few years later, one of my friends told me that cracking my knuckles didn't actually make your knuckles fat and gross. To which I said, "Say whaaaaaaaaaa?!??!!"  I just spent the last three years living without the joy and satisfaction of hearing a knuckle crack. I mean, is there any sound more beautiful? (now 98% of you are like, 'Actually, knuckle-cracking is the grossest sound and the word knuckle is one of the top five grossest words.' Well, during the course of writing this blog post I can definitely agree with you on the part about knuckle being a gross word.)  Anyway, such a beautiful sound! And I've been missing it!

And so I promptly started cracking my knuckles again.  Except I only cracked the main knuckle on my fingers (does that make sense? the main joint? id even k.). But after a while I started to get a little cray cray and I started cracking the second joint. And then I learned to crack my thumb from the joint and then also by pushing up from lower on my hand (I'm sure that doesn't make any sense.)  And then I started cracking my knuckles back and forth to the sides.  I mean, wow.  I still don't do the one where you interlock your fingers and then push your palms away from you (my little brother does it and it's freeeee-kayyy), but I think I crack my fingers every other way.  I just calculated and if I were to crack my knuckles every way I know how, I would end up making 38 knuckle-cracking sounds. HOLY COW because then I thought about how I'm cracking my knuckles all the time and I'm sure I hear nearly 150 knuckle-cracking sounds a day, which means nearly 1000 a week,  4000 a month, and probably close to 50,000 knuckle cracking sounds a year!

My mind just exploded.

Anyway, look. I'm not particularly proud of myself for all the knuckle-cracking I do.  I mean, I really wish I would make a goal to stop cracking them just like I did back in fourth grade. So, it's a work in progress. I'm thinking about trying to stop doing the sideways knuckle crack. It's a start, right?

Okay, but here's the point. I gave you all that background because I wanted to tell you something that happened at work today (seriously, I will never be a short and concise writer, it's so ridiculous).  So this TA comes into the office and asks me if I'll call Campus Scheduling to schedule a room for him. I told him I could, so I picked up the phone and dialed the number.  While the phone was ringing, I started to crack all my knuckles without even noticing.  When I was most of the way through my knuckle-cracking routine, I suddenly realized that the entire office was empty and silent except for the two of us...and while I was listening to music while being on hold, this TA was just sitting there listening to every. single. crack.  Poor kid. I mean, maybe he didn't notice, but he was staring at my hands and he was standing in a silent room, so I'm just going to assume that he did.  I hope he was impressed because I was certainly embarrassed.

At least I can say that I never started biting my nails again since fourth grade. But I do have fat knuckles. Oh well.
----------------
p.s. I'm participating in this thing called Slice of Life because Michaelanne convinced me to do it. Idk, I guess I write about a little slice of my life every day for the month of March. Except we all know that none of my slices will be little and we also know that apparently I'm not very good at keeping my goals (see above) so I j want to say that I make zero commitments about how committed I will be to this entire endeavor. Over and out.

there's a p.s. in here about valentine's day but mostly this is just about a post-it note and a plastic spoon.

Nbd, just a heart on a post-it note given to me at work over a year ago as an apology for teasing me.  Also given to me by someone who was trying to get their copying privileges back after they had been revoked by me as a result of the previously mention teasing.  I didn't give to such a ridiculous attempt at an apology, but I did keep the post-it note.  Professors are just the funniest sometimes.

Oh, and that reminds me of a professor over at my other job in sociology.  One time I went to work and wanted to eat my yogurt but I had forgotten a spoon and I looked high and low for one but none were to be found.  So, I was like, hey wait.  I've had one too many codebook meetings with Dr. C and I know he has Costco-sized boxes of plastic utensils just sitting on his shelves so I was like, okay whatever. I'll go get one from him.  Also, Dr. C thinks I'm so silly but I do good work so he puts up with me (like for example, when I got super excited that both of us had been at the Beach Boys concert AT THE SAME TIME ("Well duh, those guys are from my era! Of course I was there!") or when I planned a taco party at his house without even asking him (but he gladly agreed).  I mean, the guy is kind of a gem.) You should also know that Dr. C is like the most adorable grandpa-aged man, but he is kind of Eeyore-y with his long sighs and his face rub when he's thinking long and hard about something.  So you can imagine his face when I walked in and was like, "Hey, so I don't actually have anything important I need to talk to you about. I just have a ridiculous request and it's not important but um, I'm trying to eat my yogurt and I forgot a spoon and well, can I have a spoon?"  I mean, homeboy just has a straight, bored-looking face the whole time and when I finish blabbing he goes, "That's all  you want? ...Okay, sure. Here you go." And he just handed me the spoon, shook his head slowly, and chuckled.

I am so weird.

In other news, if anyone is still looking for a Valentine's Day date for tonight...

What's that?  You don't like that choice?  Well then, let's look behind Door #2!

Not impressed?  You think there might still be a prettier fish in the sea for you?  Alright then, Door #3!

Sorry, that's the last choice.  You have to go with it.

P.S. Super glad this just turned into a post of embarrassing pictures of myself. I don't get me sometimes.

nice bee pun, adrian.

first of all, girl has got hops.

second of all, today is the jelly bean's birthday!  And for those of you who don't know who the jelly bean is, well dang it.  It's my sister, Jalyn.  And if you don't know Jalyn, you don't know real happiness because girl is COOL.  She is probably my favorite person to quote movies/shows/youtube videos with, but mostly because she's good at quoting them and I'm good at laughing about them.  Seriously though, she remembers every line from every movie.  It's wild. In fact, I'd say on average, about 50% of our texting conversations begin with a movie quote.  Stay classy.

A few of my favorites:

"Get off the grass!"
"fdjk ewiop fjqipfd qurifjdk reiv!"
(Princess Diaries)

"Can I borrow your stapler?"
"No. You. May. Not...because the guys in the first scene already took it."
(this is actually a remixed version of a quote from The Man Who Knew Too Little)

"Nice bee pun, Adrian."
"Thank you, Blake."
"You're welcome, Adrian."
"Okay."
(Lockout Professionals)

"Let me help you, frail old man."
(Lockout Professionals)

"No. I.D."
"No idea?"
"NO! I.D.!!"
"No idea."
(Monk)

"I'm daaaaaancing in the kitchen!!! With a boooooowwwl full of chicken!"
(What About Bob?)

"They fear my shoshone ways."
(Little House on the Prairie)

Anyway, she's just my favorite and it's always funny when she's around because I always think she is funny and she always thinks I'm funny (right?) and it's just perfect.  I am one million going to miss her when she leave on her mission in less than TWO MONTHS (what the cray cray?) and like I've said before, I already miss her one billion at work because she used to work in the same office as me and man, were those the best times ever. (Note: that was a run-on sentence).  She's the smartest, nicest, hippest, hardworkingest, most exercisingist sister ever and I love her more than I fear her Shoshone ways (Note: I just used a lot of fake words in that sentence).

Anyway, Happy Birthday, Jelly Bean!


Blake Griffin.  Dang it, I love him.  But I love Jalyn more.

P.S. I feel bad that I don't blog about every family member's birthday.  Honestly, you just have to catch me on a day that I really don't want to be doing homework.  Like today, for example.  I'm the worst!

brittany's beats?

so there's this youtube video out there that makes Brittany cry.  I'm not entirely sure why...I guess Brittany just loves animals more than I do.

So anyway, it's this video about a lion that these two guys (Ace and John) in London buy and raise for a while.  Once they realize that he's too big and they can't properly take care of him anymore (I'm not sure how they didn't see that coming...) they end up taking him back to Kenya.  Then a year later, they come back to Africa and you get to see their reunion in the video below.  Brittany said it specifically had to be this video because it's the one with Whitney Houston singing (and duh, Whitney Houston is such an inspiration to us all. I want to be JUST like her).  Here you go:

Did you cry?  Because if Brittany just watched this, then she probably did.  Well, I just wanted to share a little extra information about this.  First of all, when they came back to see Christian in Africa he was still living near the trainer guy who was trying to get him used to the wild again, so it wasn't like he was that wild yet.  By the way, that trainer guy never wears a shirt.  Also, Christian totes likes Ace more than John, it's so obvious (don't tell John!).

Second of all, Ace and John came back to Africa a second time after this cute little reunion.  Turns out Christian didn't really care about them very much anymore.  There was none of this jumping all over them and hugging them business.  He mostly just acknowledged that they were in his presence and then walked away.  It was probably because they were wearing the ultimate bell bottoms and skin tight tank tops.  So hot.  Anyway, that was the last time they saw Christian.  No one knows, he could have been killed the next day.  So, sorry Brittany. But this story turns out to be kind of a bummmmmer.

And no, I do not know all of this extra information because I watched all of this documentary on youtube.  That would be ridiculous.  It would be like I was interested in this lion or something or that I actually cared about animal rights and the fact that they should not be raised in London (because apparently raising exotic animals was TOTES legal until 1976?? what the cray cray?!).  No, no, that's just not something I would do.

In other news, we're trying to help Brittany come up with a blog name so that she'll start a blog and then we can read it.  So far we have ideas like "Britt Winky Face", "Britt's Bodacious Blog", "Britt's Christian Animals--a blog about animals I love", "Britt's a Bummer",  and "Britt, Good Day."  Unfortunately, she doesn't like any of those, so if you have any brilliant ideas, please be sure to let us know.  Seriously, we want that girl to have a blog because then we can all read it and I just KNOW it would be totes hilar.

That's all.

survey humor.

I love holiday humor.  You know, jokes in December that reference reindeer or santa or candy canes or mistletoe.  I also love survey humor, which is basically the same, except you reference surveys in your jokes.  You've never done that?  Oh, that's so weird.  It's probably just because you don't work with surveys all day, every day at work. And that's okay.  But I'll tell you what.  Sometimes Kelsey P. and I like to text each other using a little survey humor.  And today, I'd like to share some of that with you.  But in order for you to understand our one MILLION hilarious conversation, you must first know some questions from our survey.

But what is our survey about?  Well, let me tell you: "In our survey, we ask questions about health, your community, your access to healthcare, employment opportunities, and how things are going for you." That was supposed to be an exact quote that we read from our survey, but it turns out I was never very good at reading that dang thing word for word, so you get my abbreviated version instead.

Anyway, there's a part of the survey where we say something like, "In that past 7 days, on how many days did you..."  and then you fill in the blank with things like, "feel lonely", "sleep restlessly", "have crying spells", "feel fearful" (by the way, that's a hard thing to say), etc.  People always get a kick out of the crying spells part.  Idk, it just sounds weird, I guess.

We then ask a couple questions like, "Have you lost interest in activities that you used to enjoy as a result of your physical health?"  "Have you lost interest in activities that you used to enjoy as a result of emotional problems?"  "Have you accomplished less than you would like at your work or other regular activities as a result of emotional problems such as feeling depressed or anxious?"  I hate that I know all of these.

There are questions like, "On a scale from 1 to 7, where one means badly needs improvement and 7 means exceptional, how would you rate your community as a place to raise a family?" "On the same scale, where one means badly needs improvement and 7 means exceptional, how would you shopping facilities in your community?"  "On a scale from 1 to 7, how would you rate the quality of care you get from your primary care physician?" My favorite is when in response to these questions, people say "fine".  So you have to be like, "Well, where would you put that on a scale from 1 to 7?"  Seriously, they always forget the scale.  It's awesome.  (But seriously, I don't blame them because I'm pretty sure the scale changes every two questions...it's cray).

One of my personal favorite questions is "How long has it been since your spouse last visited a doctor for a routine checkup?"  Now, just reading that, you might be like, what's so hard about that?  To you I say, try saying that out loud.  You might not think it's that hard, but let me just tell you.  The word 'visited' is always such a struggle for me.  I don't know, it just is.  Messes me up e'ery single time.

So now you understand what some of our questions are like.  And now we will proceed to the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings...a silly song I share my conversation with Kelsey P. during which we were discussing the fact that as of last Friday, she no longer works there (until January, that is!).  Here it is:

S: Haha, oh man. Good times, my friend. What the heck am I supposed to do there now without you?
K: I don't know. Probably just have crying spells.
S: And also feel fearful.
K: Probably also lose interest in activities that you used to enjoy. Like making great jokes with me.
S: On a scale from 1 to 7, I'd say the workplace will badly need improvement.
K: You didn't give it a number: I will read the scale again so you can choose a number.
S: Oh my gosh, how embarrassing. It's probably because it's been too long since I last visited a doctor for a routine checkup.
K: If anyone besides our coworkers read this conversation, they would probably rate the quality of our mental health specialists as a 1. But I think it is hilarious.
S: Ahaha, but srsly. Survey humor. It's too good.

So it turns out that you might not actually think this is that hilarious unless you are one of my coworkers, but srsly. I was dying.  Survey humor.  Prolls one of my new favorite things.  Can't wait to use it whenever I text Kelsey P. who will be in Washington D.C.!  Yeah!

not a game, not a game, not a game...

...we talkin' about practice!

So again, the title of this post isn't one million related to the actual content of this post except for the fact that we've probably listened to the audio from this video of Allen Iverson a solid dozen times or so at work since the beginning of this summer and this post is kind of about work, so I think it's allowed.

And speaking of work, let me tell you something.  I'm sure you are all aware of the fact that I enjoy a good sno cone every now and again.  Like you, my coworkers are also aware of this love of mine.  So last week, Ariel, who used to work in the survey lab asked me if I would go with her to get a sno cone at Hokulia (the long and horrifically embarrassing story of how I accidentally and unknowingly announced Ariel's pregnancy to EVERYONE who worked there will not be shared at this time).  So anyway, she wanted to go get a sno cone and I was totes down so the date was set and Kelsey P. and I met her at that very fine establishment on that very, very, one million hot day.

I pointed out some of the excellent flavors and even suggested appropriate sno cone sizes in an attempt to help them both through their first Hokulia experience.  My favorite part was when Kelsey P. and I were waiting for our sno cones.  Approximately 2 seconds after I was handed my sno cone and started walking toward the table, I spilled a huge chunk of my beautiful sno cone all up on the ground.  As my bff Allen would say, "I know I'm supposed to lead by example...", but man, I really messed up there.  Fortunately, neither Kelsey nor Ariel followed my example, and they were both able to successfully make it from the sno cone shack to the table without any harm or accident.

It was super neat to catch up with the ever-so-hilarious Ariel and to also meet her tiny little baby bump.  Srsly, girlfriend is going to be the cutest pregnant lady (just like Janelle and Ricky and Kelli and (maybe) Rachel and all my other pregnant lady friends).  Also, thank you to Kelsey P. for coming with me on this adventure because we all know I would have managed to get lost in those Helaman Halls freshman dorms (so confusing!).

Also, seriously.  It was a million degrees so I'm fairly confident I've never eaten a sno cone faster than I ate that one (mostly because it all became liquid after 2.7 minutes).

And now, pictures of delicious treats!!

 What?!  Is that sno cone missing a huge chunk?  That is SO weird...

K baby Page! (which is what I call her every time I see that she has texted me)

Ariel and child (sort of...)

Wunderbar!

tuesday letters.

dear skin color, do you see this picture?  do you see how no one can tell the difference between your shoes and your legs?  please do something about that even if it requires that you sit outside for 61 hours a day.  yes, I just said 61 hours a day. not a joke.

dear self, you sure know how to pick the wrong seats in the library.  In the past two days, you sat next to mr. clear-my-throat-every-five-seconds, mr. sniffles, mrs. the-library-is-the-perfect-place-to-take-a-phone-call-every-three-minutes, mr. and mrs. madly-in-love-so-obviously-we-only-need-one-chair-as-we-look-lovingly-into-each-other's-eyes, and my personal favorite, mrs. play-video-games-that-require-you-to-click-a-mouse-continuously-for-over-an-hour. keep up the good work.

dear slang, congratulations to the words perf, supes, totes, litz, def, and prolls (and more) for become a part of my everyday language.  uncongratulations for being used when talking to professors.

dear next tuesday, you mark the day in which I will have successfully completed my first senior year of college.  too bad I have another one.  actually, I'm totes okay with it.

dear dad man, thanks for doing my taxes (maybe you got tired of me struggling and asking you questions on every step?). I'm excited to go buy a lifetime supply of bubblegum with the money I get--that's a reasonable way to spend it, right?

dear red sox, thank you for finally! winning a game yesterday.  i was starting to get pretty stressed out.

dear self, good day.

please enjoy the music while your party is reached.

(an actual picture of me at work. i feel weird.)

So, here's a few things you should know my day at work today:

1. If you are ever making a call on campus at 8:05 in the morning, you will hear Rondo Alla Turca playing when you are put on hold.  Trust me, I've called OIT enough times to know.

Side note: Rondo Alla Turca was the song I played in my very last piano recital, so having to hear that every time brings back good and bad memories--I do really like that song, I did not really like practicing.


2. I've been working on a project at work that requires me to type the word "Lecture" a lot.  I'd like to personally thank my last name for making it so that word ends up being "LeCture" at least 90% of the time. Not a joke.

3. Today, Dr. G walked past me while saying, "You look very nice. Why are you all dressed up today?" I gave him the most confused look and was like, "Wait, what?!?" because homegirl over here is TOTES not dressed up in any sense of the word.  I then turned around and saw one of his students who, on the other hand, was DEF dressed up.  Dr. G proceeded to jokingly get on my case about how I shouldn't assume that all compliments that come from his mouth are meant for me, because seriously, I always do.  Self-centered, anyone?

And that, my friends, is just another day in the Chemistry Dept.

i'd rather be scootering on a RAZOR scooter right about now.

It's the last week of classes, which means I've never been busier.  In the past week, I've turned in four papers (2 pages, 3 pages, 12 pages, and a 14 page group project) and I have three to go (3 pages, 1 page, and 11 pages).

Fortunately, the 3-page one is halfway done and the 11-page one is halfway done, BUT STILL.  I'm super excited for it to be Thursday at 1:30 pm.  I don't even mind finals right now...I just want these papers to be over with.

In other news, look who I had fun with this weekend.  These cool cats are pretty cool, especially the ones who also spend their evenings with me in this blasted library.



 

You might be wondering our longitude and latitude in this picture (i.e. where on earth we were) and I will tell you that we were at Classic Skating.  Yes, the place where I chipped my wrist bone and had to wear the delightfully smelling brace for six weeks (fond memories, my friends. Super fond.)  But you may also notice that I am holding a SCOOTER! (my preferred form of transportation).  That's right, I chose to scooter at the skating rink because A) I had a scooter to use (thank you, Dan the Manielle), B) I'm a horrible roller skater...no, but seriously. HORRIBLE. C) I didn't care to injure myself again because we all know that is exactly what I would have done, and D) scooters are SUUUPER hip, yo.

I'd rather be scootering. That's for sure.

Wishing.

Sometimes I wish all I did was hang out with my homechildren and eat pazookies all day, every day.

Who needs school anyway, right?





But apparently school is important or something and I should really try not to despise it as much as I currently do.

It's a work in progress.

So until I learn to love school again, I prefer to think about eating delicious treats and not doing homework and Thanksgiving and my birthday and new clothes and Christmas and my family.  Those are some real nice thoughts.

 

hilarious squared.

I’ll be the first to admit that I find my jokes about ten times funnier than anyone else does.  Seriously, though.  I’m pretty sure one of the main reasons people laugh at my jokes is because I’m already laughing so hard at them and they don’t know what to do with themselves other than to offer the occasional pity laugh.  It’s a little ridiculous, I know.

But I mean, come on.  Tell the following things are not hilarious.

1). For my Data Analysis class, we’re supposed to email our assignments to our professor or the TA.  Last week, when I emailed my professor my homework, the body of the email said, “Herein lies HW #4.”  I died at my holiday humor right there.

2).Then today, I sent another assignment to the TA.  The text of the email said, “HERE IS THE BEST MINI ASSIGNMENT YOU WILL EVER EVER EVER SEE IN THE HISTORY OF YOUR LIFE. WHY? BECAUSE I AM AWESOME.”  Clearly I was on one today, because that made me laugh so hard I was literally crying after a minute or two.  My two friends sitting next to were laughing as well…all the way to the mental hospital they reported me to.

3) At work, we’re all working on this on-going project where one person will start a portion of the project, but usually they don't finish it.  When they leave, they just put a sticky note at the part where the next person is to start up again.  Today, when I was ready to leave, I wrote a sticky note that said, “Start here NOW. Start here or Gabaige (Paige) will throw a rotten taco at your face.  No, but seriously. ROTTEN TACO.”  Then one of my co-workers asked me to write a “Start Here” sticky note for her.  I wrote on the sticky note, “Start here. If you don’t, Dr. Ic (Derek) will only eat garlic sandwiches for a week.”

See, now what I don’t understand is why you are not rolling on the floor laughing.

Seriously, though. Each and every one of the above-mentioned examples brought tears to my eyes with how funny I found them to be.  I’ll take this as a good sign though, because I think it means that when I’m a creepy old cat lady, I’ll still be amused by my life instead of hating the world and casting various spells on children which may or may not cause them to turn into food items and their mother to have to figure out how to decode which food item is which child depending on which food item went well with her child’s favorite food in real life and maybe she will even pretend to chop off her legs.  You never know with those creepy old cat ladies.

Cats trump food children any day of the week, so even though people regularly question my sanity, I think I’m going to be okay.

Perk #793 to Working in the Chem Dept.

Sometimes professors come into the office and say,

"Would you like a zucchini?"

To which I always say, "Yes!"

To which the professor responds, "Don't worry...I didn't grow it in my lab."

Oh, those silly professors.  I love them.

*****

After that, I go home and whip up a little recipe that I just made up in my head (and by made up in my head, I mean got from my dad) and voila! Dinner is served.

Zucchini + Squash

+ Basil + Salt + Pepper

+ Parmesan Cheese

+ my mouth = per to the fect.

I feel so domestic.

In other news, while I was in a meeting the other day, my dad left me a message that went a little (and by a little, I mean a lot) like this:

"Hi, Stacy Stink.  This is your dad.  I'm calling because I think it's been a little too long since you last blogged.  I check your blog every day, and I'm getting tired of reading about how Midge got married.  So, you should write something new.  That's all.  See ya!"

I think that qualifies as fan mail.

This one's for you, Pops.

Benny Boo.

Dear Benny boo,

You really were the best thing the CSC ever had.  I don't know a nicer, more patient person than you.  All day I've been thinking about all the fun times we had at the CSC.  Gosh, you were so nice to me.  Even though I was totally ridiculous, you still hung out with me.  I still remember when you first started working there, me and Aubs knew you and Jaylynn were the cream of the new kids crop.  And you totally were.  You always let me ride around on the cart while you pushed it like it was no big deal.  You let me tell you day after day al the foods I don't like.  You were the hardest worker and got things done so well and efficiently.  You never bragged about anything and you were so sweet.  You knew me so well and knew the things I hated doing and you would just do them for me (I hated that dang wrapper).  You would come with me on all my adventures throughout the building just because I wanted you to, not because there was actually a need for two people.  You were the best.

Once you were comfortable enough, you would tell me all your stories and you'd always listen to my life drama--and I mean actually listen.  Don't tell Aubrea, but you were my favorite.  My very favorite.  I could always count on you.  Thanks for giving me a ride every day in the summer.  Thanks for telling me funny things that Luanna and Gary did on the days I wasn't there.  There were so many jokes we had, it was awesome.  Gosh, you were seriously the nicest person.  When you weren't there, I didn't want to be there. For reals.

I miss you, Benny.  I miss you more than I miss Chicken Pablano soup...and that's saying something.

I'll be seeing you, I know I will.

Love, Stacy

P.S.  No need to save any swiss cheese for me.