burgle*

Please don't be a burgle robber* because I'm about to tell you about my weekly routine.

On Sunday, I usually have church meetings starting at 11 am, then I have church from 1-4 pm. I usually try to make a delicious Sunday dinner, and sometimes that's hit and miss haha. A couple weeks ago I made rolls and they were amaaaazing (i.e. I'm pretty sure Levi ate 20 for dinner). The recipe is from Ann Dibb (Pres. Monson's daughter) so they were destined to be delicious. But then another time I made a crockpot meal and it wasn't even cooked all the way when we got home from church so that was fairly depressing.

On Monday, we get home from work, have FHE, then go to the gym. Also, let's talk about how Levi loves to "Welcome everyone to family night" in his best Cecil O. Samuelson voice and I just need you to know that it's eerily perfect. Like, I really think Cecil is there with me. He does the voice that Pres. Samuelson would do when he would welcome everyone to devotional every Tuesday at BYU. And in case you were wondering, "Stacy Heperi, a sociology major from Santa Rosa, California" is often assigned to give the opening prayer.

On Tuesday, Levi has class until 10 pm (oy.) and I go grocery shopping after work. In the summer, I didn't have work on Friday so I went grocery shopping then, but now I go on Tuesday. I tell you that because I've been going grocery shopping alone for a long time now. And here's the thing, I don't mind going grocery shopping alone. In fact, Levi likes to go a lot faster than I do which can be stressful for me, so it's kind of good to just have time to go down every aisle and make sure I have everything (and I usually still forget something, but still haha). The real problem for me is that we live on the back side of the apartment building on the second floor and it's a million degrees and uphill both ways as I'm sure you could guess, so I just hate having to carry all those groceries in. Plus, I always have Levi's mantra "Second trips are for the weak!" going around and around in my head and I don't know. It's hard guys. One day Levi is going to come home to find that I have been crushed to death by all the groceries halfway between the parking lot and our door.

On Wednesday, Levi has class until 7 and then we both have mutual (youth group at church) and then we don't usually get home until 8:45 or 9 pm. We love mutual though because those kids are awesome. Levi and I were both asked to serve in the youth programs when we first moved to Oklahoma and it was especially great back then because then when we would go to ward (church) activities and still didn't know very many people, we could just hang out with the youth haha. We've since made adult friends, but still. Those kids are neat.

On Thursday, Levi doesn't have class! So we both come home, have dinner, and then go to the gym. I used to not be such a fan of the gym, but now I don't even mind it and actually kind of like it. I used to do those classes like zumba but Levi has since convinced me to join him in his weightlifting. One time we were visiting Levi's family and we were eating dinner and Levi was like "Hey, guess how much Stacy can squat." And I was like, uhhh, okay. Haha, anyway he told them and for a while I thought it was so funny how he liked to tell people how much I could squat but then I remembered how horrifically embarrassing it must have been for him when I was first learning how to squat and literally could not even squat the bar without a) whining about it and b) losing my balance and toppling over. I've come a long way, people. So yes, he's allowed to be proud haha.

And then comes Friday! The beginning of the weekend! Once we get off work, it's time to party! Usually we go on a little date or something and then we hang out for the evening, maybe watch a movie or a show or something. Last week was the opening ceremonies of the Rugby World Cup as well as the first game and you guys. The world cup goes from now until Halloween! That's a long time! Which I really don't mind because I like rugby. Except it's confusing watching rugby during football season because I go back and forth between rugby and football and they're similar-ish, but definitely different. So when I'm watching football I'm like "you have to put the ball on the ground to get a touchdown!" or "you can't just smash him with your head like that!" but it turns out you totally can. Because it's football, not rugby. Anyway, we'll be watching a lot of rugby over the next six weeks. Obvi we're cheering for New Zealand, but we have to watch all the games so we can "check out the competition", duh. Also Levi asked me to make a banana cake for the opening ceremonies so I did. He went to cut the first piece and took the entire center section of the cake. Haha, that guy. Also the entire cake was gone in less than 24 hours, but mostly because it somehow qualifies as a breakfast and lunch food as well ;)

And then finally, Saturday. We go play soccer in the morning and then try to do as little as possible for the rest of the day. Usually we have to run errands, but if we can, we like to just watch football/rugby, take a nap, and go hang out outside or with friends or something. It's the best.

Anyway, that's all. I don't know why I felt the need to tell you that, but now you know.

*burgle robber: one time I woke up in the middle of the night and told Levi that I was worried about the front window being open because "burgle robbers" might come get us. I don't even know, it was so weird.

shamwow!!!

In light of the fact that we recently had the Grammys or the Oscars or something like that (I can never remember), I figured it was a perfect time to share the following story:

During my freshman year of college, my ward (church congregation) did this thing where smaller groups each made a video and then we had the VMA's (Video Music Awards) where each video was presented. At this point, I feel it is appropriate to mention that the picture shown above is of me, Keech, and Rach at said VMA's.  And yes, that's right. Keisha is wearing the largest leopard print thing I've ever seen.  But more importantly, Rachel wore tie-dye overall shorts to the event and yes, I encouraged it.  So judge me. But mostly judge her.

Our group decided to do this thing where we basically just pretended like we were all fighting over the t.v. remote and so the t.v. that we were supposedly watching kept changing channels and on each channel was a different show or commercial that we made.  The video was supposed to be all those different shows or commercials.  I remember we did a clip about the Bachelorette, Power Rangers, 24, the "Single Ladies" dance and a bunch of other weird stuff.  But I had a favorite clip.  It was a commercial featuring the one and only Rachel "Manning the Harpoon" Alford.  In this clip, she advertises the highly sought after SHAMWOW.  That's right. A SHAMWOW.  Feast your eyes on this, foolzz:

Seriously, I kid you not when I say this goes down in my top five favorite things featuring Rachel ever caught on film...other items on the list include:

1. Rach dancing with a wall
2. Rach and I both grabbing a towel at the same time and knocking everything off of our desk and then her ending up in the closet...sounds suspicious...
3. kicking cones in a parking lot
4. pouring water on Rach in the shower
5. Rach dancing with a hairbrush and a can of holiday popcorn to the song "Get Silly"
6. our "You Belong with Me" music video
7. her saying "Freshman Yeeeeeear" in a video
8. Rach and Karie pregnant smashing me
9. Rach and I both filming each other in our bedroom trying to "give the viewer multiple perspectives of the event"
10. Rach lint rolling me
11. our "Love Me Tender" music vid
12. our Pimple Juice video
13. Rach's jump roping/hula-hooping dress rehearsal routine
14. Rach dancing to "Party in the U.S.A." in the hospital parking lot
15. Rach and I in a documentary of REAL LIFE a.k.a the drive to Ogden, Utah and back
16. Rach and I making banana chocolate chip muffins (which was actually filmed when we were kind of annoyed with each other and so there is zero laughing in it which actually just makes it funnier to me)
17. Rach singing 'Sexy Can I' in the bathroom
18. Rach's superior acting as a guardian angel in a movie where she was persuading me not to go on a date with a math nerd
19. our educational and entirely factual Thanksgiving video
20. Rach and I in the random tandem experience
21. anything involving Rachel modeling which is like a million vids
22. Rachel dancing to Stephen playing the violin
23. Rach and I in "Thug Story"
24. Rach doing interpretive dancing to a variety of Miley Cyrus songs. 

So it looks like my top five consists of more than five...just go with it.

But seriously, this one is for reals in my top five.  Favorite line? "Better than any towel or...pAper towel."  Ahhahaha, the way her voice goes up on the first syllable of 'paper' and the fact that she said "towel" and THEN said "paper towel".  I mean, seriously.  The only thing stronger than a towel would be a paper towel, didn't you know?  Also, my other favorite part is pretty much any time she says Shamwow.  Gosh, it kills me. Girl was a natural born actress, not a joke.

Just another reason why Rachel "Manning the Harpoon" Alford is one of the number one best things that has ever happened to me.  Totes not joking even a little bit.

a short love story.

So are you ready to hear a love story?

When I got to work on Friday morning, there was a pile of surveys on my desk and a note that told me that I need to go over to the Martin Building (which, by the way, is only ever called the MARB around here so I was like, I should write Martin Building so that my sea of readers who don't go to BYU will understand...but then I was like, now my ocean of BYU readers will be confused because seriously.  I don't think I've ever called it the Martin Building.  Also, I need to stop looking at the word Martin because it's stressing me out. I'm going to continue with my story now.)  So I needed to go over to the MARB (ew, now it looks like I want you to say  it really loudly but if I write Marb then I just get confused and think it's short for marble or maybe that it should be the name of a sandwich and who here is sick of my obsession with the MARB/Marb/Martin Building because I know I am).

 Anyway, I head over to the previously specified building to hand out this survey to the Chem 481 class which is made up of like 250 seniors (p.s. someone tell the principal that about half of the students didn't show up for class. Shame on them).  I go in there and I make a little announcement about the 4 question survey and then I hand it out to them and let them fill it out and then I collected them up and headed back to my safe office where I didn't have to stand up in the front of a huge lecture hall and talk to people and have them look at me and stuff. Ew.

So then I was entering the information into a spreadsheet super casual style when I came across this survey:

Now, spelling errors aside, I think it's pretty obvious that it was a good day to wear the leopard print cardigan. And I don't want to get cocky, but I think this might be the beginning of a beautiful love story.  Apparently, someone in the class was impressed not only by my amazing ability to stand awkwardly in front of a huge class and to rarely smile and not make eye contact with anyone if I could help it, but they were also impressed by my fashion sense. I see good things coming for me in the future as a direct result of this.

At first I thought this survey might belong to my friend Landon (my old roommate's husband) who was in the class, but then I found a different survey that answered question #4 with "This class is so gangsta". So that obviously ruled him out.  Anyway, I think we're going to do this Cinderella style and I'll probably leave my cardigan in their class this week and then maybe the author of this comment will go to all the houses in the kingdom until he finds the girl that the cardigan fits perfectly.  In that case, I'm super hoping he comes to my apartment complex first, because I have this weird feeling that it could fit a lot of other people.

Wish me luck with my potential Prince Charming! (Or maybe should it be my potential Tarzan?  I mean, he does love leopard print...)

bay bay!

Last weekend, we had a baby shower for my main girl Rachy Rach.  Girl is seven months pregnant and I can't even believe it.  Anyway, we had said shower here at my house because, let's be real.  I have a pretty big living room.  Rachel's sister planned all the games and decorations and such and I was simply in charge of food.  Which was good because it turns out even that stressed me out.  Okay, not really, but let me just tell you that if I did not have the help of Allison and Danielle that baby shower would have had saltine crackers only.

Anyway, I was actually really excited to put this together and I think it all turned out rather well.  I even got all kinds of cray and made one of those triangle banner things.  And when I say I made that, I mean it was entirely made by Allison.  I just thought of it.  Man, I'm the worst.

Apparently Rachel is really popular because I'd say there were at least 20 people that came.  It was really fun and we played some fun games (all planned by Tracey).  Of course, I did embarrassing things, but what else is new?  Rachel got some ADORABLE gifts including the CUTEST little sweater from H&M.  Srsly, I am doing all my baby shopping there from now on, NOT A JOKE.

Also, my number one favorite thing about baby showers and bridal showers and all other showers (except the normal style one that I take every day--or every other day???) is the fact that I get to see so many of my beautiful, wonderful, fabulous friends/old roommates.  Gosh dang it, I'm obsessed with those girls. We had five of the six Penrose girls and it was just magical.  I'm so glad that these girls are still such good friends to me.  I mean, really.  I lucked out big time in the roommate department.  It's unreal.

And of course, I suppose this is an appropriate time to mention that Rachel is still my number one favorite girl.  I have a lot of besties (that word is just gross looking and gross sounding, but let's just roll with it), but that Rachel.  Girl just kills me.  Also, did you know she's amazing?  Like seriously.  One million amazing.  SUCH a good person, SUCH a hard worker, SUCH a good student (although seniorits can be a doozie, haha), SUCH a hilarious person, SUCH an awesome example to me, and SUCH everything I every could have asked for in a roommate and best friend.  Oh, and she's going to be SUCH a good mom.  Love you, kid.

And now, the part of the show where I show you a few pictures from the blessed event, courtesy of instagram.

This girl. THE best. (P.S. Twin boots!)

Penrose, baby.  Too good.

Oh, and this picture happened.  So strange, yet so one million hilarious to me.

Though we struggled to get the cake out of the pan, with a little frosting love from Danielle and a mini banner by me, I think this three-layered cake turned out alright after all.

Success!

super jazzed.

(danielle, me, allisoooooon)

I feel like since Kelsey wrote this post, I should really be better about blogging.

The worst part is, I was just thinking of a really good idea (relatively speaking) for a blog post, but then Danielle was wanting me to help her pick out fabric for some pillows she's going to make, and since i'm basically an interior designer, I was extremely helpful. By the way, have I ever told you about the interior designer that helped my mom buy new furniture for our house?  I just remember her wearing leopard print all the time and I'm pretty sure her name was Ginger.

Anyway, since I can't remember that cool thing I was going to blog about, I think I would like to dedicate this post to my main gurrrrl D to the Anielle (that looks weird).

1. Homegirl is allllllways making me dinner because she is one MILLION awesome.  Last night we had lasagna roll-ups.  You're like, I don't even know what that means and I am here to tell you that lasagna roll-ups means delicious.

2. She is totes always giving me rides to places. That might have something to do with her lifetime chauffeur contract that she has with me in which I require her to have a slicked back ponytail and a tuxedo on every time she chauffeurs me to important events.  I just made all that crap up and I don't even know why...except for the part about giving me rides.  I mean, my razor scooter is super effective and all, but...

3. She's funny.  I copy all her mannerisms because they kill me.  Have you ever seen the thumbs up lean?  The double peace sign "whatever"? The double peace sign cross over?  Totes all came from that girl.

4. Girl makes a meeeeeean batch of cookies.  Seriously, in the past week she has made some of the most delicious chocolate chip cookies and some faaaaabulous snickerdoodles.  I feel like she's trying to make me fat and that would normally make me pretty angry, but then I remember how good the cookies taste and I don't actually mind.

5. Every other Sunday she lets me use her phone to look up how much tithing I need to pay because apparently I have become increasingly irresponsible and can't look that up before I go to church and I still have a dumb phone so I can't do it for myself.  My life is so hard.

6. There are things that scare me.  For example, milk that is more than ten days old, sour cream, yogurt, cream cheese, and a variety of other dairy products.  Danielle is super one million cool because she will open the lids on these things and tell me if they've gone bad because if I were to look at it and it was bad, I would gag like nobody's business.  The truth is, I would gag even if it hadn't gone bad.  I don't sniff dairy products.  She also takes care of other food items that have gone bad in the fridge which is double one million nice because seriously, who likes doing that?  She's so cool.

7. She knows I love donuts.  So she buys me donuts sometimes, including ones that are the size of my head.  I don't know how you could be any cooler.

8. She buys creepy weird chairs from creepy weird D.I. salesmen.  That's probably going to always be one of my favorite stories ever.  Not a joke.  That and the lockout couple story.  Oh my gossssssh.

9. She breaks mirrors by throwing futons at them. Girl is wild.

10. She helping me destroy the english language by using the words totes, litz, perf, fer rill rill, nbd, JSin, ID even K, YD even KM, and like a million other abbrevs.

Sooooo, she's pretty neat. nbd, whatever.

a goal.

This morning I read this blog post.  And I have a confession.  I want that.  It’s not even monumental or life changing or even inspirational, really.  But what I like is the relationship she has with her husband.  It's funny.  And I love it.  And somewhere, someday, in my future, I want that.

But of course, I do realize there are other important parts of marriage, don't you even worry.  But if it isn't too much to ask, I'd really like to have that fun part in there.  Okay, thanks.

Love in a marriage is important. Commitment in a marriage is critical.--R.T.F

adventures!

So, I've blogged once in September so far.  That's really great and also really embarrassing.  So, without further ado, another update from my corner of the earth.

 1. The chemistry department is significantly more boring now that Jalyn is gone.  I mean, her replacement is pretty neat, but as strange as this might be, she doesn't know all the inside jokes that me and Jalyn have.  Case in point: it's a lot less funny when I say, "Can I borrow your stapler?" and Jalyn's replacement just says "Yes" instead of "NO. YOU. MAY. NOT! ...because the guys in the first scene already took it."  J.S'in.
2.  I went to a wedding reception right before school started and it was kind of the cutest thing ever. I loved it.  And what was even better was the fact that I knew both the bride and the groom!  Hayley is a fellow sociology major (and used to work with me) and Jonathan is from my home stake and has been my friend since I was like 14!  How cool is that?  Pretty cool.  But not as cool as the fact that the wedding reception also had DONUTS!  I mean, seriously. Talk about my dream wedding reception.
3.  I wish I had a "before" picture, but this is after my desk plant in the chem office got a serious haircut, courtesy of the ever-so-talented Rachael who is quite handy with a pair of scissors.  This guy really needed a haircut though. Its leaves were a couple of feet long (no joke) and getting all over our desk and Sue's desk.  Not cool.
4. At work, we always have themed parties for birthdays.  For Carolina's birthday, I deemed it to be the rainbow fun themed birthday party because we had funfetti cake with rainbow chip frosting and also taffy (courtesy of Jack, who we super miss).  It was fabulous!  Also, bragging moment: I frosted that cake all by myself, thank you very much.  I wish I could say that wasn't actually an amazing accomplishment, but coming from the girl who struggles to peel overly ripe bananas (gag me, no pun intended) and work a microwave, it totes is.

5. My summer project--Life and Family Legacies Codebook (1966--1980--2010)..
6. The post-its that indicated all the errors Dr. C found in my summer project.
7. My COMPLETED summer project after previously mentioned errors were fixed.  I am ONE MILLION proud of myself (and Allie, who has totes been helping me for the last month and without whose help (is that even proper english?) I would still be stuck with a million post-it notes all up in that codebook).  Survey research is neat!
8. Danielle's down comforter ripped many moons ago and feathers have been regularly littering out apartment (especially on laundry day).  She recently found the time to stitch it up.  Master seamstress!

9.  Woo!  Danielle got her car washed and we got to watch!  Alyssa even shared with us that car washes scare her.  Talk about deep, dark secrets.  We must be really good friends.
10. Alyssa is just cute all the time.
11. Lyss's saucy hurr.
12. One day when I went to lunch with Rach, I was not in the mood for healthy things so I got a brownie and an ice cream cone (which, by the way, helped soothe my sore throat...I know, lame excuse).  But don't worry, I didn't waste my time with that celery in the background.

13. Birthday girl at her mexican fiesta bbq.
14. Birthday girl looking hot.
15. Birthday girl trying on her birthday present skirt and then going to put her pants on...backwards.
16. Birthday girl decided to get herself a birthday present.  Wait, no.  Birthday girl went to DI and was casually checking out this chair to see if she could reupholster it or something when suddenly a creepy DI salesmen got all up in her personal bubble and was telling her all about this "pladdish" (not plaidish) chair and how she should buy such a unique piece.  Danielle ended up buying it just so the guy would leave her alone.  This is probably going to be one of my favorite stories to tell for a long time to come.

17. Mom and Jalyn came into town for the weekend and we went to Cafe Rio.  It turns out that if you jab your straw into your cup of ice enough, it all collects up in the straw and then freezes together. Then you can pull the refrozen ice back out and it looks like a magical icicle!  I was pretty intrigued.
18. But then the icicle broke all over my leftovers so I had to clean it up.  My mother was not particularly impressed with my cleanup method.
19. Jalyn: "Mom, get in the picture. We need to look cute." Nailed it.
20. Hmm, turns out I'm still the 5-year-old who tries to stick things into the grocery cart without mom noticing. Surprisingly, the 20 pounds of shredded cheese didn't go unnoticed. Weird.

So, that's the latest and the greatest.  I've got to stop being so exciting.

i just did/saw/said that.

(super high qual pic of me making dinner while wearing my swimsuit and a graduation gown.  stay classy).

So there was a time in my life when I truly believed I possessed an average number of social skills. You know, at least enough to avoid being given those horrifically confused looks that say, "What on earth are you doing?"

I mean, really.  I thought I had that pretty much under control.  I would occasionally be embarrassed or do something pretty foolish, but never enough to make me question whether or not I should really be allowed in public.  Lately, everything I believed about myself has been questioned.

I just feel like I've done more than the average number of idiotic things lately.

Please let me share.

1. On Sunday, Danielle and I were walking back to class after having our pictures taken for the new ward directory.  I was talking loudly (oh, really?!) about something stuuuupid right as we walked past the elders quorum room...as they were setting someone apart.  'Please, Stacy,' the occupants of the room seemed to say. 'Do something that could be a little more distracting. I DARE YOU.'

2. Also on the topic of church.  We had a little mix and mingle afterward so that we could get to know each other and consume cheesy popcorn and grapes (I can't explain that choice of food combination).  So, you know, there I was, just trying to do my veteran ward member duty by introducing myself to others.  I went up to these two guys and asked them who they were.  "Oh, so you're new. What's your name? What are you majoring in? Where are you from?"  You, know. The usual.  The first guy answered the questions all normal style and then I turned to the next guy and asked him the same things.  His response: "Oh, well.  I'm not actually new."  WHY AM I THE WORST?  Seriously, he had been in the ward for four months and I had no idea.  And the worst part?  I can honestly say that I STILL don't know his name or what he looks like.  I must have been too ashamed to remember to put that little tidbit in my memory bank.  A+ for me.

3. Sometimes I leave the house a little late on my way to work.  The other day was one of those days.  When I'm running late, I usually just make myself some toast and run out the door.  The other day I had enough time to put some nutella on my toast before I had to leave.  I walked to work, devouring the toast (another shameful event in and of itself).  I got to work, opened the office, helped a few students and a professor, and then went to use the bathroom.  As I washed my hands, I looked in the mirror and saw that I had nutella ALL UP ON MY FACE.  Seriously, how did I even manage that?  And then I had had those conversations with students and a man with a Ph.D!  WHY?!  Lesson learned: buttered toast from here on out.

4. On the first day of class this semester, a poor freshman walked up to me and asked me where the Eyring Science Center was.  I quickly told her where it was and then we both headed our separate ways.  About four seconds later I realized that I had just told her where the Clyde Building was.  In fact, when she asked me, we were standing maybe 30 feet from the Eyring Science Center.  Good thing I'm in my fifth year of college.

5. I broke what I'm pretty sure is the cardinal rule of facebook messaging, which is: Make sure you're sending your message to the RIGHT PERSON.  The worst part was that I was attempting to send a message to someone else about a different time of embarrassment which had occurred in front of a professor.  I mean, what the heck is up with that?  So, I'm sure the message was well received, especially since it was immediately followed by an all caps response from me indicating that I am the worst at technology.  Stay classy, right?

6. The other day, I walked in on a couple when they weren't expecting it.  I don't think I need to go into more explanation except to say that EVERYONE was uncomfortable.

7. One time, Danielle kept getting phone calls over and over from the same number.  Every time she picked it up, it would just be the sound of a fax machine.  On like the tenth call, I jokingly told her to hand the phone to me and I would take care of it.  I took the phone and rudely said, "Please stop harassing my friend" knowing that I would just hear the sound of a fax machine on the other end.  EXCEPT I DIDN'T.  What I heard was, "I'm so sorry!  I really didn't mean to!  Really, I apologize for all the other calls.  You see, what happened was..."  at which point I started to apologize profusely for how rude I was while at the same time getting the phone out of my hand and giving it back to Danielle as quickly as possible.  Girlfriend cannot catch a break 'round here.

You guys, I know I'm not and idiot, but srsly. I'm afraid these idiotic occurrences are happening more and more often and that they are getting worse and worse.  I'm worried.  I mean, the next thing you know, I'll be walking up to an old man in a swimsuit and smacking him on the rear because I think he's my dad or something.

Oh, wait.  I've already done that.

survey humor.

I love holiday humor.  You know, jokes in December that reference reindeer or santa or candy canes or mistletoe.  I also love survey humor, which is basically the same, except you reference surveys in your jokes.  You've never done that?  Oh, that's so weird.  It's probably just because you don't work with surveys all day, every day at work. And that's okay.  But I'll tell you what.  Sometimes Kelsey P. and I like to text each other using a little survey humor.  And today, I'd like to share some of that with you.  But in order for you to understand our one MILLION hilarious conversation, you must first know some questions from our survey.

But what is our survey about?  Well, let me tell you: "In our survey, we ask questions about health, your community, your access to healthcare, employment opportunities, and how things are going for you." That was supposed to be an exact quote that we read from our survey, but it turns out I was never very good at reading that dang thing word for word, so you get my abbreviated version instead.

Anyway, there's a part of the survey where we say something like, "In that past 7 days, on how many days did you..."  and then you fill in the blank with things like, "feel lonely", "sleep restlessly", "have crying spells", "feel fearful" (by the way, that's a hard thing to say), etc.  People always get a kick out of the crying spells part.  Idk, it just sounds weird, I guess.

We then ask a couple questions like, "Have you lost interest in activities that you used to enjoy as a result of your physical health?"  "Have you lost interest in activities that you used to enjoy as a result of emotional problems?"  "Have you accomplished less than you would like at your work or other regular activities as a result of emotional problems such as feeling depressed or anxious?"  I hate that I know all of these.

There are questions like, "On a scale from 1 to 7, where one means badly needs improvement and 7 means exceptional, how would you rate your community as a place to raise a family?" "On the same scale, where one means badly needs improvement and 7 means exceptional, how would you shopping facilities in your community?"  "On a scale from 1 to 7, how would you rate the quality of care you get from your primary care physician?" My favorite is when in response to these questions, people say "fine".  So you have to be like, "Well, where would you put that on a scale from 1 to 7?"  Seriously, they always forget the scale.  It's awesome.  (But seriously, I don't blame them because I'm pretty sure the scale changes every two questions...it's cray).

One of my personal favorite questions is "How long has it been since your spouse last visited a doctor for a routine checkup?"  Now, just reading that, you might be like, what's so hard about that?  To you I say, try saying that out loud.  You might not think it's that hard, but let me just tell you.  The word 'visited' is always such a struggle for me.  I don't know, it just is.  Messes me up e'ery single time.

So now you understand what some of our questions are like.  And now we will proceed to the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings...a silly song I share my conversation with Kelsey P. during which we were discussing the fact that as of last Friday, she no longer works there (until January, that is!).  Here it is:

S: Haha, oh man. Good times, my friend. What the heck am I supposed to do there now without you?
K: I don't know. Probably just have crying spells.
S: And also feel fearful.
K: Probably also lose interest in activities that you used to enjoy. Like making great jokes with me.
S: On a scale from 1 to 7, I'd say the workplace will badly need improvement.
K: You didn't give it a number: I will read the scale again so you can choose a number.
S: Oh my gosh, how embarrassing. It's probably because it's been too long since I last visited a doctor for a routine checkup.
K: If anyone besides our coworkers read this conversation, they would probably rate the quality of our mental health specialists as a 1. But I think it is hilarious.
S: Ahaha, but srsly. Survey humor. It's too good.

So it turns out that you might not actually think this is that hilarious unless you are one of my coworkers, but srsly. I was dying.  Survey humor.  Prolls one of my new favorite things.  Can't wait to use it whenever I text Kelsey P. who will be in Washington D.C.!  Yeah!

blake griffin's got nothin' on me.

Earlier today, my sister Jalyn turned to me and said, "Did you know that Blake Griffin is less than a year older than you?"

It turns out I did not know that.  It also turns out that learning that was a little depressing.  I mean, srsly.  In the past few years, homeboy was named Rookie of the Year and Slam Dunk Champion. Homeboy played in multiple All-Star games and rumor has it that homeboy just signed a five-year contract worth $95 million dollars.

So what?  I mean, look at what I've done! I think I used to be able to play the game Rook and I can slam dunk my cookies in milk. My mom thinks I'm an all-star and I can count to 95, so we've basically accomplished the same things, right?  Sheesh.

So I mean, yeah.  Kid might be able to say that he's made something more of himself than I have, but what I have to say to that is, "Has Blake Griffin ever made conversation cookies or thrown bottles of fire down a mine shaft?"  I mean, I'm just. sayin'. 

But it turns out I'm actually a huge fan of the guy.  I mean, he only starred in my favorite commercial of the NBA Playoffs, nbd. But seriously. That stance! That stick! That face!  It kills me!

Oh, and since we're on the topic of commercials, I should probably just share this one with you guys again.

Oh, and since we're looking up my favorite things on youtube (and because it was my main man HP's birthday yesterday), I might as well show you this. (Her face after she says it!  I die!)

Oh, and since it is now official that this blog post has no chance for success, I figure there is no better time than now for me to share this with you. (I cannot watch this without dying in awe of Rachel's one million amazing acting skills.  No, but really.  Best. Actress. Ever.)

I don't even know why this whole thing just happened.  I should stop now.

But the moral of the story is I'm alright with Blake Griffin having more money than me and I like stupid videos and the STREETS! are where it's at and I think my acting skills may have deteriorated in the 3+ years since that music video was made. I can tell you're all very sad to hear that. 

Also, that link to one of my older blog posts?  My writing was weird back then.  Oh, wait.  It's still weird?  Oh, that's cray.

Okay, I'm really done now.

love fern.

Oh my gosh.  So I'm just sitting here, eating my dinner (after 10 pm, duh!) with my computer on my lap.  Since I'm busy contemplating the meaning of life and not actually using my computer, my screensaver came on after a few minutes (my screensaver is the type that just goes through all the pictures on my computer).  Anyway, I'm just sitting here eating some rice, when the following picture came up:

And then I DIED laughing.  I mean, srsly.  What the dang HECK is up with those faces?!  They k-k-k-kill me.  I mean, mostly Rachel's face, but mine also.  Oh my gosh, I don't even know what is going on or what possessed us to take a picture that looks like this, but it is totes hilar.  I cannot get over it.  Oh, and talk about excellent positioning.  Way to lean just perfectly on that table with the bread and love fern in just the right spots.  Work it.

So then obviously I wanted to share this truly embarrassing picture with the general public, so I had to go find it on my computer.  OBviously, that led to me finding about a million other G-E-M gems in the archives, but this could easily get out of hand, so I decided to just share one other pic that was taken about a week after the one above.

So at this point, I'm sure you are realizing a few things.  First of all, I am a FABULOUS photographer.  I mean, seriously.  The angle, the poses, and most of all, the editing!  I went through a phase where apparently not only did I want every photo to be absurdly bright, but I also wanted my accentuate my tan, or lack thereof.  Go team.

Second of all, that face.  I ask myself this every day, but why am I not a model?  Girlfriend knows how to work a model face.  I mean, come on.  Those perfectly pursed lips alone should seal the deal on a million dollar modeling contract, I'm sure of it.

And lastly, Rachel.  Channeling her inner Samara and it kills me every time.

That's all, guys.  Except that I can't believe these pictures were taken almost three years ago.  We were cray cray all the time and these were the results.  Such treasures, not a joke.

"my weekend"

A short story by Stacy LeCheminant, in which I tell the story of a weekend that ended almost four days ago while being sure to include a variety of pictures that were most likely not edited unless they had already been edited when I put them on instagram, so basically I'm lazy.

But also classy.

1-4.  On Friday, I went to the Bees game with Ethan, the boyfriend of Katie (my old roommate who is on a mission in South Korea).  Real conversation with my mother when talking about the weekend:
   Stacy: I went to the Bees game with Ethan.
   Mom: Who is Ethan?
   Stacy: Katie's boyfriend.
   Mom: Oh, come on!  Get your own boyfriend!
Haha, anyway, it was a fab game and Ethan is a hilarious person to watch any sporting even with ("Protect the Hive!"  "Go my favorite sports team, go!").  Plus, it was a really good game and the Bees won in the bottom of the ninth ("Hank the Hound dog brings in the winning run!").  I love baseball.

5 and 6.  On the way home from the game, Cassie (a girl that was with us) informed us that not only was it free doughnut day at Krispy Kreme (that was all she needed to say to win me over), it was also free orange chicken at Panda Express day!  I mean, how neat is that?!  So on the way home, we stopped by Panda Express right as it was closing.  I always feel bad doing that, but I mean, free food!  You can't keep me away even if it may not be the most tactful thing in the world.  Then after that we drove straight on over to Krispy Kreme to get a free doughnut.  Seriously, what an awesome day.

7-10.  On Saturday, my homegirl Rachy Rach and I went to Seven Peaks!  I got to use my suuuuuuper expensive (a grand total of $5.50) Pass of all Passes (or "POAP" as the back of the card says) for the very first time!  Plus, it was such a good day to go because it was supes hot out thurrr.  After a couple hours there, we obviously had to hit up my second home for a sno cone!  Also, I was so in love with the peach/guava/red raspberry combo that I got it again!  Seriously, the whole time we were there, we just keep saying how happy we were.  I swear, you'd think I was five years old with the way I get so excited about those dang sno cones.

Side story:  Saturday night was the night I realized something horrible.  I was sitting in the living room working on a lesson I had to give the next day when I realized that it was supes warm in my apartment.  I went to check the thermostat and saw that it was up to 85 degrees and the air conditioner was totes not blowing cold air.  I watched the thermostat climb to a toasty 89 degrees by the time I went to bed.  So awesome.  So, we've been living in a toasty apartment, going to bed when it's a comfortable temperature of about 87 degrees and mostly I just wish I could sleep on the balcony or somewhere with a breeze.  But fear not, the a/c fix-it guy FINALLY comes tomorrow.  And fortunately, the past two days have been a little cooler, for which I am one MILLION grateful.

11-12.  My little freshman friend Spencer asked me if we could make cookies together after church.  I told him no because a) it was one MILLION degrees in my apartment and b) I had no flour.  But homeboy would not give up.  He told me we could bake the cookies in his apartment and he even located someone that we could get some flour from (don't worry--we repaid him with cookies).  And so it happened that I made cookies with a nineteen-year-old boy as I avoided the heat of my apartment.  And it was nice.  We had a nice little heart to heart and that kid is funny.  We're going to miss him around here this summer.

So there you have it.  My weekend in a nutshell.  A very large nutshell.  My dang short story turned into a novel.  But I'm pretty sure I knew that was going to happen.

P.S. Danielle is back!  After two weeks of being away on a little cruisey dealio, she's back!  Yee!

STREETS!

Here is a commercial that was seriously made for Danielle and me.  A huge thank you to Aaron (who is now officially a dad--yee!) for knowing that I would love it and for recommending I watch it asap.

This video will most likely change your life.  Seriously, I've watched it like 4578923 times and I still think it's hilarious (basically the same situation as when I saw this video).  In fact, don't just watch it once.  You have to watch it at least twice, because it gets exponentially funnier with every additional view, I swear.

"I can't turn my back on the streets, Annie. Streets!"

you're welcome.

last day of college?

Today, April 11, 2012 should be my last day of college classes.  Of course, as I've mentioned approximately 894388970 times in the last month, I'm on the five year plan.  So, this means that unlike all my hip friends who know how to get college done in four years, I am still here for another year.  I'm not actually that upset about it, except I do kind of wish I could join in the graduation festivities with the rest of my friends in the major (I hear they're having donuts!), but it's okay.

Anyway, after Soc 420 (420, say what?!) today, Meghan asked me to take a picture of her, Lindsey, and Ariel with a sign saying "last day of college."  I'll be honest.  I was totes jealous.  I wanted to join in the fun!  So, later that day, I made a sign for Janelle and me to hold and asked Ariel to take a picture of us with it right after we had finished our Soc 405 final.  I look creepy, but I was trying to look sassy.  Which is a little depressing because if that is what my sassy face looks like, I'm suddenly understanding why people don't give me much sympathy when I try and use it to get my way.

So, here's to another year of college with the majority of my freshman roommates and sociology with my main girl Janelle (even though she's taking a semester off to birth her child--so selfish!).  Hopefully Janelle, Aaron, Tyler, and I can convince the new department chair to start some new capstone classes like Soc 485: White Males: How to Exploit Your Advantages and my personal favorite, Soc 473: Sociology of Kittens and Cute Things (Bows, Buttons, and Woodland Creatures).  I feel like people would really like those classes.

truth.

Um, but seriously.  This would be a great accomplishment if it ever happened.

Smile, Like You've Got Nothing to Prove

I have a few things I'd like to share with the masses.

I am going to start using my camera more.  I used to be the girl that seriously had her camera everywhere she went.  It's funny because you probably think that's an exaggeration. (Side note: I use that phrase way too much).  Anyway, I want to break it out so I can capture every day of my life.  I'm going to try something.  I'm going to try and take at least one picture a day.  You see, I had this small problem called "Stacy took so many pictures that she filled up her entire hard drive...but really.  I'm up to date and have it all backed up on my parent's external hard drive, but I'm still all sorts of nervous about deleting stuff off of my computer.  I finally deleted freshman year (but if we're going to be honest, I should probably tell you that it's still sitting in the recycling bin on my desktop...separation issues, anyone?)  Moral of the story, I want to have more pictures to post on my blog and to help me remember all the ridiculous things I do.  For example, pictures like this should be a whole lot more common:

Those were the days.

Next up: new year.  I've been trying all sorts of new things this semester.  I'm making a greater effort to look "presentable" for school.  Sadly, this rules out my regular wet-hair-in-a-pony-tail-every-day look.  So far, it's been working pretty well, and there's this other thing: I feel good.  Strangely enough, I like that feeling.  But tell me this:  How is it that even if I wake up half an hour earlier than I used to, I still end up rushing at the last minute to get dressed and throw some sort of lunch together?

Can someone say "number one most hilarious photo of the century?"

I'm that cute. Really.

jk, brb, cya, gr8, rotfl, INVU4URAQT

I just want everyone to know that I'm chatting with a librarian right now.  Yes, that's right.  The HBLL has a little online chatting thing you can do with the people that work here.  I'm totally stoked.  The librarian has already said "let me check", all hip-like, with no capitalization or anything.

Oh, shoot.  Now he says "looks like 87 minutes".  I think he's going to be asking for my number pretty soon.

Now he says, "I tried the library site to, but I just looked it up on google!" (so cute the way he spelled "to" wrong).

Now he says, "Thanks!"  Do you think the fact that he capitalized it is a sign that he's going to ask me out soon???

But in all seriousness, how cool is that?  You can be sure that I'm going to be utilizing that option a whole lot more in the future...

Potential Conversation Starters:
"fieapbip uripaf rueipgfjk feivjfk; jeiqpfjdage."
"Do you hear that sound?"
"Having fun, isn't hard!  When you've got a library card!"
"Do you want to be a librarian for the rest of your life? It sounds awful!" "Oh, you've been a librarian for 48 years?  My bad..."
"Do you have any books on dinosaurs?"
"Where can I find a book with good date ideas?  P.S. Are you single?"
"Hey, where is the nearest bathroom?"
"Why are there books everywhere? I'm getting claustrophobic!!"

This is going to be so good.