Thursday, August 30, 2012

i just did/saw/said that.

(super high qual pic of me making dinner while wearing my swimsuit and a graduation gown.  stay classy).

So there was a time in my life when I truly believed I possessed an average number of social skills. You know, at least enough to avoid being given those horrifically confused looks that say, "What on earth are you doing?"

I mean, really.  I thought I had that pretty much under control.  I would occasionally be embarrassed or do something pretty foolish, but never enough to make me question whether or not I should really be allowed in public.  Lately, everything I believed about myself has been questioned.

I just feel like I've done more than the average number of idiotic things lately.

Please let me share.

1. On Sunday, Danielle and I were walking back to class after having our pictures taken for the new ward directory.  I was talking loudly (oh, really?!) about something stuuuupid right as we walked past the elders quorum they were setting someone apart.  'Please, Stacy,' the occupants of the room seemed to say. 'Do something that could be a little more distracting. I DARE YOU.'

2. Also on the topic of church.  We had a little mix and mingle afterward so that we could get to know each other and consume cheesy popcorn and grapes (I can't explain that choice of food combination).  So, you know, there I was, just trying to do my veteran ward member duty by introducing myself to others.  I went up to these two guys and asked them who they were.  "Oh, so you're new. What's your name? What are you majoring in? Where are you from?"  You, know. The usual.  The first guy answered the questions all normal style and then I turned to the next guy and asked him the same things.  His response: "Oh, well.  I'm not actually new."  WHY AM I THE WORST?  Seriously, he had been in the ward for four months and I had no idea.  And the worst part?  I can honestly say that I STILL don't know his name or what he looks like.  I must have been too ashamed to remember to put that little tidbit in my memory bank.  A+ for me.

3. Sometimes I leave the house a little late on my way to work.  The other day was one of those days.  When I'm running late, I usually just make myself some toast and run out the door.  The other day I had enough time to put some nutella on my toast before I had to leave.  I walked to work, devouring the toast (another shameful event in and of itself).  I got to work, opened the office, helped a few students and a professor, and then went to use the bathroom.  As I washed my hands, I looked in the mirror and saw that I had nutella ALL UP ON MY FACE.  Seriously, how did I even manage that?  And then I had had those conversations with students and a man with a Ph.D!  WHY?!  Lesson learned: buttered toast from here on out.

4. On the first day of class this semester, a poor freshman walked up to me and asked me where the Eyring Science Center was.  I quickly told her where it was and then we both headed our separate ways.  About four seconds later I realized that I had just told her where the Clyde Building was.  In fact, when she asked me, we were standing maybe 30 feet from the Eyring Science Center.  Good thing I'm in my fifth year of college.

5. I broke what I'm pretty sure is the cardinal rule of facebook messaging, which is: Make sure you're sending your message to the RIGHT PERSON.  The worst part was that I was attempting to send a message to someone else about a different time of embarrassment which had occurred in front of a professor.  I mean, what the heck is up with that?  So, I'm sure the message was well received, especially since it was immediately followed by an all caps response from me indicating that I am the worst at technology.  Stay classy, right?

6. The other day, I walked in on a couple when they weren't expecting it.  I don't think I need to go into more explanation except to say that EVERYONE was uncomfortable.

7. One time, Danielle kept getting phone calls over and over from the same number.  Every time she picked it up, it would just be the sound of a fax machine.  On like the tenth call, I jokingly told her to hand the phone to me and I would take care of it.  I took the phone and rudely said, "Please stop harassing my friend" knowing that I would just hear the sound of a fax machine on the other end.  EXCEPT I DIDN'T.  What I heard was, "I'm so sorry!  I really didn't mean to!  Really, I apologize for all the other calls.  You see, what happened was..."  at which point I started to apologize profusely for how rude I was while at the same time getting the phone out of my hand and giving it back to Danielle as quickly as possible.  Girlfriend cannot catch a break 'round here.

You guys, I know I'm not and idiot, but srsly. I'm afraid these idiotic occurrences are happening more and more often and that they are getting worse and worse.  I'm worried.  I mean, the next thing you know, I'll be walking up to an old man in a swimsuit and smacking him on the rear because I think he's my dad or something.

Oh, wait.  I've already done that.

1 comment:

Mom said...

You like nutella...after having to live on that for days on end in England??? And, exactly who was that man that you smacked???:)