the story of getting engaged to levi.

Levi and I have been married for like eight months now and this story took place just over a year ago, so it's possible that it would no longer be of interest to anyone. But you know, I must do it for posterity's sake. Also because I want to.

Levi came home with me to California during Christmas break 2013. Once we came back to Utah, I knew it was time to get a move on with the whole marriage thing. We were basically engaged to be engaged since about November and madly in love for months before that, so the time had come. And so, just a day or two after we got back to Provo we went ring shopping. I would just like to point out that I am super proud of myself for how well the ring shopping situation went. I thought I would be super overwhelmed by all the choices but it turns out I really just like the simple solitaire ones. I looked at all the different kinds but I kept coming back to the same one. Which was really super nice because oh my word if you could see me trying to make any other decision in my life...it doesn't go nearly as well.

Anyway, getting engaged. Once I had picked out the ring, I just waited. And waited. And waited. I knew it wasn't going to take weeks and weeks or anything, or at least I hoped it wouldn't. And so you know how that goes. I knew it was coming, but I didn't know when...and so I had to be prepared at all times. Which by the way, is difficult. This meant that I had to do my hair every day and I had to look moderately cute every day and I couldn't just jump into sweats the minute I got home from work every day. The worst was the fact that I would come home from the gym and then do my hair again, just to be safe. I just super didn't want to looking like a slob that day we got engaged, you know?

After doing my hair for what felt like a million days in a row, I thought maybe it was never going to happen. But then one day Levi came over and after dinner he was like, "Hey want to go to Provo Beach Resort?" And I was like, hey I've been wanting to go there for a while now and I've hinted about going there so this must be it! It's like a fun date and then he'll propose after! I'm so smart. So I hurried and changed into a cute outfit and then did my hair and we were off. The first thing we did there was bowl and I was like, oh my gosh, this is what we did on our first date, we're tottttttally getting engaged. I remember being at Provo Beach Resort and being like, oh man, he totally can't fool me. I'm onto this guy. He thinks he's soooooo tricky, but he's not.

Actually he was. Because we didn't get engaged that night. We bowled and we played croquet and had a stellar time and I looked super cute, but no, we did not get engaged. As we were pulling out of the parking lot, I thought for sure that might still be a chance and maybe he would turn left and we would go up the canyon, but no. We turned right and we came straight home.

Then another day that week was the time that we went to dinner. And I was like, ahhh here it is. Going to dinner in the middle of the week? Too obvious. A fancy little dinner and then he'll pop the question. Thank goodness I did my hair, amiright? But no. No engagement. Just a stomach full of delicious food and no ring on my finger. I couldn't figure the guy out.

Another day that week he was like, let's go to the dinosaur museum! Of course I was like, oh yeah! I had been wanting to go there for years! Of course, it wasn't exactly the most romantic place in the world, but I could still go with it as an engagement location. Maybe there would be like one of those archaeology dig things where you have to sweep away the sand and stuff and then there would be my ring! Yes, that had to be it. But no, of course not. Just a lot of dinosaur bones and no ring for me (though I actually really liked going there because dinosaur bones are cool! And big!).

By this point I was like, this has clearly just been a week of fun dates. We were always doing fun stuff like that, so maybe all this wasn't out of the ordinary.

On Friday, when I was at work, Levi texted me saying he was going to walk me home from work as he often did. He came and picked me up (I worked on BYU campus) and then we walked home together. On the way home, he was like, "Do you think Utah Lake is frozen right now?" (It was January). I told him I figured it was, and he said something like, "I've always wanted to go walk out on the frozen lake. Have you ever done that?" I of course said no, because something like that would terrify me. He was like, "We should go see. It'll be fun!" I was extremely hesitant, but agreed. Maybe that would be kind of fun in a weird and dangerous way.

So we drove out to the lake. We parked and then we headed down the rocks to the lake. I was seriously freaked out. I thought for sure I was going to fall through. I had barely walked onto the frozen lake part and Levi was like ten feet out jumping down on the ice, essentially giving me a heart attack. I think he was trying to reassure me that I wouldn't fall in, but mostly I just thought that he was going to fall in now. So as we slowly walked further and further out, I constantly kept my eyes on the ice for fear that there would be a giant crack somewhere and that we would all die.

After we had trekked a considerable distance, I was like, "Okay. Let's go to that rock out there and then I think that will be far enough, don't you think?" Levi agreed and so we kept going. As we got closer, Levi was like, "I don't think that's a rock. What do you think it is?" We were close enough now that I could tell it was actually a blanket covering something and I was like OH MY GOSH. It's a dead dog. Somebody's dog died or they killed it or something and they dumped the dog out here. Oh my gosh, or maybe it's a person?! A dead person? Oh, crap. I was like, Levi don't touch it. Seriously, I bet it's a dead dog and that is so gross. But of course, Levi did touch it.

And when he pulled the blanket off, it was not a dead dog. It was a basket. Full of flowers and candy and E.L. Fudge cookies and donuts (yes, donuts!) and glitter gold! and much more and then it clicked. Because those are all of my favorite things! They must be mine! I was super stunned and then I turned to Levi and I knew what was about to happen. He said some wonderful things and then he dropped down on one knee (and did not fall through into the lake) and asked me to marry him. And I said yes! It was marvelous and magical and all things wonderful and perfect and I couldn't stop smiling and I was so incredibly happy. It was just the best day.

After we had called both my parents and then stopped at Levi's parents house to tell them, we went to Carraba's for dinner. I remember we sat at the bar and we watched the employees who were in charge of making salads while we enjoyed our meal and talked about our future and how happy we were. I also remember that after that we drove around town for a while and then before headed home, we got the car washed haha. It was such a great day though and I couldn't have asked for a better surprise. I love Levi.

*side note: In preparation for this event, one day after church when I told Levi my home teachers were coming over, he sped over to Utah Lake, hopped out of his car and onto the ice, and then tried jumping up and down over and over to make sure it really was safe. I just love imagining that story.

*second side note: Quite a few of Levi's rugby teammates had classes in the building that I worked in. On that Friday when Levi came to pick me up from work, he got stopped by a few of those teammates downstairs. They started getting on his case (loudly) about how he needed to propose and when was he going to do it and so on and so forth. Levi was freaking out because he knew that sound traveled well in that building because there had been a number of times when he had come to wait for me in that exact downstairs room and had been able to hear my voice while I was still working upstairs. He was like, crap she's going to be able to hear us and it'll tip her off! Anyway, I never did hear them, but the next week all of those boys stopped by my office and told me all about how they had been talking to him about proposing and he was already planning to do it that very day! They thought it was hilarious. And to be fair, it was. Good times.

Also, pictures.

#tbt and stuff

So I got this new app on my phone called timehop. Apparently it's not actually that new. But it's new to me and I really love it. It shows you what you did on this date (e.g. January 22)  in history according to facebook, instagram, pics on your phone, etc. Turns out I was quite the social butterfly back in the day. Aka, I was regularly updating my status on facebook, uploading new albums of photos on facebook, and let's face it--blogging a lot more.

Anyway, it's so great because it brings back awesome and hilarious memories from previous years. So over the past few weeks I've been taking a screen shot of some of them and texting them to friends/family involved and it's just been super fun. Also, it's so ridiculous and I am regularly reminded of the weird things I do/did. Mostly did. Here are a few examples of some good ones:

This is a picture of Danielle and it's a pretty good representation of oh...every day of her life. Haha, jokes. More like every day when she had work and school and a budding social life (aka baking and picking up sticks with her bf Dillon). Girl can sleep. A lottttttttt. Like a lotta lotta lot. It's really impressive. But I'd like us all to take a minute and check out that form. I mean, girl. Arms e'erywhere, puffy coat still on, glasses properly placed (hopefully this is after the time I stepped on her glasses and broke them so she had to tape them back together with scotch tape). She probs had a solid three hours to go on this nap. Go get 'em, girl.

This picture was taken just over two years ago, just weeks before Rach had her first bay bay Kenny! What's crazy is that her second bebe is due TOMORROW! Whaaaaa?!?! Totes cray. I just remember this is from one day when we were walking home from BYU together to go hang out at her house (basically I force my friends to hang out with me, even if they're super preggo). All I know is Rachel kept laughing when we were walking home and I was legitimately afraid she was going to like go into labor or something. (Hey Rach! I hope you go into labor while reading this! Best friend of the year goes to me!)

And finally, this picture. Holy cow, this is just a perfect representation of everything that was our freshman year at BYU. Can you even believe this was SIX years ago?! Ugh, I hate that...I'm seriously ancient now. It seems like this was just last year or something. Freshman year was basically constant craziness, high energy, screaming, laughing, pranking, partying, and zero sleep. I want to just say I often try to remember when the heck I did homework and what the heck I ate. I honestly cannot figure out how I still managed to get good grades. Anyway, I think this picture is from one time when we were going to like an 80's dance or something. At the time, we were obsessed with show 24 and I think we were trying to act like two teenage girls that were in the first season. The sad thing is, we were pretending to be extra goofy looking, but I'm pretty sure I have approximately one billion other pictures of us with essentially the same faces/attitude/sassiness. I don't know, chock it up to being 19 and living on my own for the first time.

Also, look. It's a selfie from before selfies were a thing. #winning

hey good news I'm alive.

I'm sorry, but are these not the world's most adorable pictures of Levi? Like I'm seriously obsessed.

Hey guys hey. Things that have happened since I last blogged:

1. We discovered Buffalo Wild Wings. Well, I suppose "discovered" is the wrong word. Levi always knew it existed. I did not. I refuse to comment on the number of times we have had Buffalo Wild Wings in the last two months, although the answer might be 5 (but that includes two times over the holidays with Levi's family and one time that was my birthday!) But I know. Still too much.

2. Speaking of my birthday, thank you all for celebrating that with me because yes. My birthday was on Thanksgiving. I actually really loved my birthday because Levi was there and my brother was there as well! Also, I made the most ridiculous amount of food for just a few people. Like, Levi was eating leftovers for a week. I was majorly stressed that I would epic-ly (which apparently isn't a word) fail at the entire thing but turns out the turkey isn't that hard and also there were only three people to let down if I did fail so I don't know why I was so worried. Also, I successfully made some seriously delicious pies. Just for the record.

3. Does anyone remember back in like June when I bought toilet paper for our lame temporary apartment that we had to live in for the summer? You may recall that I accidentally bought one-ply toilet paper that was so terrible and reminded me of being at a rest stop in Nevada. Well, friends, I am happy to report that as of just before Christmas, we have officially finished off that massive package of toilet paper and have upgraded to quality Costco toilet paper. I'm so proud of us.

4. We went to Utah for Christmas and it was really fun! We got to hang out with family and friends and mostly just chill and sleep in and eat a ton of food. Like a ton of food. And I kept telling myself that it was okay because I was on vacation, but holy cow I should not have eaten that much food. Actually who are we kidding? It was a great decision. I love food.

5. Also, when we went to Utah we took a short trip to Arizona for the weekend because Levi's mom found a deal at some resort there (facials and pedicures and fancy rooms and more food!). Anyway, there's this whole long story about the ordeal of trying to fly back to Provo from Arizona. Long story short, we eventually got the plane flying to Provo and when we were getting very close to our destination the pilot made an announcement about how it was too snowy and foggy and stuff and he couldn't land because the Provo airport was closed I guess? so then we had to fly all the way BACK to Arizona! Sounds like a sick joke, right? Well it totally wasn't. We really did fly all the way back to Arizona and couldn't fly to Provo until the next day. But it was okay. When we stayed in Arizona that extra night, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings. So it was worth it.

6. I would also like to tell you that among all my wonderful gifts from family and friends, Levi got me the Anne of Green Gables movies. He said it was a true sacrifice on his part because he knows that eventually he'll have to watch those with me. True love. (Also: "Twenty pounds of browwwwn sugar."-Marilla). But I would also like to point out that in the past two months I have watched all six Rocky movies (Yo Adrian!), so just know that I make sacrifices too.

7. And finally, I don't feel like a terrible wife anymore. Levi has basically been begging for Beats headphones for months. I had worked up a plan with his mom and his brother and we would all chip in to buy them for him. But obvi they had to be a surprise. You should know that my track record with Levi and gifts is no bueno. I have never actually made it to the birthday/holiday without giving away the surprise slash just straight giving him his gift. I just get so excited! But I reeeeeally wanted this one to be a surprise. So every time we would go to Target or Best Buy or wherever else they sell those dang headphones Levi would so sweetly ask if he could go try them on. He would also tell me about how maybe we could afford them or maybe he could get the cheap ones or maybe he would save his money so he could get them. And every time I had to be the evil wife and say "Are you sure you really want those?" "Are they seriously worth all that money?" "Gee, I don't know, Levi. Let's just think about it for a while." And every time I did that I swear his shoulders slumped a little more. Of course, each time he would ask would be a time when I would be buying myself a new pair of pants or something. Seriously, it was like, I get everything I want and you must get nothing! It was awful for me. I wanted to avoid Target like the plague and no one ever wants to avoid Target, so you know this was serious. There were not a joke SO many times that I almost gave in and told him. Well folks, I'm happy to say that I made it all the way to Christmas without giving away the surprise and for that I would like to be awarded wife of the year! I would also like a public notice to go out informing that masses that contrary to popular belief, I am NOT the most evil wife in the world.

Phew.

conversations with levi, part three.

Because there's never a dull moment around here...

Levi, looking at himself sideways in the mirror, stretching his shorts way out in front of him: "I lost fifty billion pounds."

(Please excuse the childishness of this one) Levi, at the drive through pharmacy: "What if I could fart in that box and send it back to the guy?" Please take a moment to imagine him hanging out of car trying to do that. Please also imagine another car pulling up behind us and watching.

(Please excuse the continued gassy jokes) After an extremely gassy night for our friend Levi, I go to cuddle up with him and I say: "Are you going to fart any more?"
Levi then whispers in my ear: "No, but when I do...I KILLED MUFASA."

Levi, after discussing the art of writing cover letters: "If I had to write a cover letter it would say, "Give me an interview and I'll blow your pants off."

Levi: "So I'm watching this sushi documentary and they're saying they've been in the business for two hundred years or something. I don't know, they're throwing out numbers like they think I'm NOT fact checking them. It's like they think I have better things to be doing than checking their facts as I watch their documentary.

Levi: "So you know that phrase, 'Always a bridesmaid, never a bride'? You don't even know what it's like to be always a man, never a bridesmaid."

Levi: President Monson has a Twitter now, so now you really can "follow the prophet."

Me: Pushing people on Sunday is bad.
Levi: That's not true. I was born on Sunday, so obviously pushing is good.

crafting with the craft-less.

Crafting easily makes it onto my list of top ten things I’m incapable of doing. Other things on said list include using a remote, surviving a haunted house without screaming and attracting every stupid zombie and ax man in there, and waiting until someone’s birthday for them to open my gift.

But the thing is, even though I can’t use a remote I still try. And yes, I end up deleting DVR’d shows and get stuck on the fishing channel but still. I try. And so obviously I still try to craft. And so far, after nearly 25 years, I’m still straight terrible at it. For the life of me, I cannot come up with creative ideas. I could never just think up something cute and crafty. What I can do (sometimes) is copy. I can copy things that more talented crafters have done as long as it doesn’t include anything complicated. I can tie ribbons, I can paint squares and I can use a toothbrush to splatter paint anything you put in front of me.

But a couple weeks ago I decided to stretch my craftabilities and paint pumpkins. Note that the thought of carving pumpkins did not even cross my mind because using a knife on a hard vegetable isn’t on my resume. So I spent like an hour looking at ideas on pinterest for pumpkin painting. Turns out some people can paint complicated things on pumpkins. Jealous. Anyway, I finally found a few things I liked like a simple zig zag or some polka dots. Those seems straight forward, am I right? How could you mess those up?

Obviously you can or this post would be over by now.

So I went to tape off the zig zag for the pumpkin and all was going well until I finished painting it and realized that the whole spherically-shaped pumpkin thing had apparently thrown me off because dear old zig zag was practically at the bottom of the pumpkin. I look at that pumpkin every day now and I cannot figure out how that happened. Spheres, man. They’ll get you.

Polka dots. I only had those foam brushes (you can only invest so much when you’re a self-proclaimed non-crafter) and turns out those are not the easiest brushes to paint circles with. Totes cray, right? So after attempting like three circles and realizing this was a no good situation, I tried to wipe them off. Also a bad idea. Mostly I just smeared white paint all over one side of the pumpkin. So that pumpkin was off to a great start. Next, I tried making a potato stamp. I had read that you could cut the shape you want into a potato and then use that as a stamp. Again, spherical issues. So I ditched that idea real quick and said sorry to the potato for wasting it. Then I spent about 15 minutes looking for something that could be used as a stamp. Searched the whole dang apartment for a small circular item that could survive having paint all over it. After 15 minutes of fruitless searching (apparently the Heperi’s aren’t much into having small circular items laying around…could have something to do with Levi continually purging my piles of random things, who knows), a lightbulb finally came on in my head! The other end of the foam paintbrush! So I mean, winning. Once I realized I could use the end of the paintbrush, ol’ polka dot pumpkin was done in 2 minutes flat. (Except don’t look at the back of it because it’s still a white smeary mess from the foam and potato polka dot attempts).

And then finally, I had one more pumpkin. I had already done the zig zag and I had already done the polka dots. I was pretty sure there were no more shapes I could confidently pumpkin-ify. I scrolled through the ol’ pinterest and saw that some people would tape off and paint the shape of the state they lived in and then put a little heart on it where they lived. I thought about it for a while and then decided I could challenge myself. I mean, Oklahoma is a fairly simple-shaped state. And so I did it. And after a number of tape recalculations after having made the skinny part of OK way too skinny and almost falling into the spherical trap of putting the state too low like I did on zig zag pumpkin, I succeeded. And I painted. And I hearted. And I won! Then I put the shape of Utah on the back because I mean, I lived there for six years and also it’s practically just a square. And I won at that one as well! I maybe would have liked to do California on there, too, but who are we kidding? My crafting capabilities had been maxed out.

And so there you have it. An adventure in crafting for the ultimate non-crafter. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be able to decorate the rest of my apartment using Oklahoma-shaped items. Which is truly a bummer.

hiking with the boyz.

So here’s something. Hiking in Oklahoma. It’s not actually a thing. Now, I could be wrong, but I generally define hiking as an activity where one experiences at least some degree of incline or decline. Oklahoma does not have either of those things because Oklahoma is flat with a capital F and a capital L and a capital A and a capital T. Like way flat. I personally think it’s at least a little more interesting than places like Kansas because at least we have trees and shrubbery and the like. When we drove through Kansas I could have sworn we weren’t even moving because the scenery stayed exactly the same for like 6 hours.

Anyway, so this hiking. Levi works with the Young Men/Boy Scouts in our ward, and for the boy scouts to achieve their hiking merit badge (or in order to get ready for trek coming up in a few weeks) they decided to go on a ten mile “hike” around the lake last Saturday. Which was really code for “walk” around the lake because again, no incline. Levi so kindly invited me to join in on the fun! by waking up to meet at 8 am for this awesome! and exciting! hike! Being as I’m such an awesome wife (or that I had no other commitments and I just wanted to hang out with Levi), I agreed to wake up suuuuuper early at 7:30 am. (Although I think my exact words the night before were “I refuse to wake up any earlier than 7:30.”) We headed off and met the strapping young men ready to hike.

It was a very nice day, I must admit. It was like in the seventies temperature-wise, so it was warm, but it wasn’t so super mega hot. And at this moment I would like to pause and remind everyone back in Utah or basically anywhere besides here that I am so jealous of you. You get to have fall right now; all I get is a never-ending summer. Sniff. Anyway, hiking. We headed off around the lake, carrying our water and our snacks (read: Levi carrying our water and our snacks and me carrying nothing. Confessions of an adult-aged drama queen.) The plan was to walk five miles out and then five miles back. Sounded like a great plan to me.

Some of the boys weren’t quite as active as others so the hike was a little rough, but they all finished and that’s what matters! Plus, there were gummy bears and cookies along the way, so what could be better? We finished without losing anyone to exhaustion and that was quite an accomplishment. There are a few who aren’t looking forward to the additional 4 10-mile hikes and the 20-mile hike they still have to do to earn the merit badge, but hey. Let’s just celebrate our accomplishments for now. Plus the pain and sadness that they may have experienced at the end was nothing that couldn’t be solved with an orange sherbet push pop. No, but really.

What I would really like to focus on now is again the fact that it is still basically summer. At the end of September. In Oklahoma. Also we were walking around a lake. Also science. All of these things play a part in the crime known as “Now I Have a Crispy-Fried Sunburned Face”. Even though it wasn’t so mega hot, we were out there for 4 or 5 hours and mostly not in the shade. Also I think there’s that science thing where the sun reflects off the lake and that doesn’t really help. And gosh darn that sun, it just works on you so slowly you don’t even notice until you get home and realize that you’re so red you’re not sure if it’s really you. And then you have to go out in public and your face feels really tight and constantly hot and it burns and is sore and then a couple days later your entire face starts peeling off and anyone you interact with at work stays back a few feet so as not to get the close up and personal view of a crispy flaky face. It’s rough.

Now some of you may be thinking, well gee! I’ve never been sunburned that bad! In fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever been sunburned. And skin peeling off? Unheard of! And to you I say, I know your name is Levi Heperi. And it’s just not fair that you can’t feel my pain and that your only comment is “Hey, lobster. Are we having lobster for dinner?” The only thing I have to say to you is that you had better have strong enough genes so that our children get beautiful dark skin and that they don’t get sunburns. I’m completely serious. One would have thought that my own mother was tan enough that at least some of her offspring would be able to maintain some degree of a tan, but alas, it was not meant to be. The powerful forces of my father’s whiteness overruled it all, so now we’re all very pale. So don’t drop the ball, Levi. Unless you want crispy-fried crying children in the summer. The choice is yours. I’m just sayin’.

(Also, that picture. I just love it.)

oy. the gym.

So, in case you were wondering.

We joined a gym. After about three months of a mostly sluggish existence in which the majority of my diet consisted of spaghetti and candy, it was time to make a change. Of course, I like to resist change. So when Levi said it was time to start exercising, I said, “But Leeeeeeeeeeeviiiiiiiii (no really, there were that many e’s and i’s when I said it), it’s too hot outside! We can’t go running outside! I would DIE!” (also yes, these complaints are always said in the most dramatic way possible. Drama is my jam, guys. I’ve been practicing drama voice and sad eyes and stink face since the day I was born. I mastered them all by the time I was 2 and they’ve been a true asset to my success ever since).

Anyway, the gym. I whined and complained because it really was hotter than Hades out there (I’ve always wanted to use that phrase). Also, the locals were telling me that this had been one of Oklahoma’s milder summers, so I had essentially resigned myself to a life of Reese’s peanut butter cups and cookies and was actually super jazzed about it. Surprisingly, Levi was not quite as into my new diet ideas. He himself was requesting more celery, which I responded to with a bit of concern and giant question mark face. Celery is one of the worst vegetables and that’s not just my opinion. That’s actually a fact. Oddly enough, Levi is not aware of that fact. And so I’ve been buying lots of celery lately. But don’t worry, I’ve been telling all the cashiers that it’s not for me, it’s for my husband. You know, in case they start accusing me of eating one of the world’s worst vegetables.

Anyway, the gym. The diet was a no-go with the one member of the family who has the ability to lift the other member of the family and force them to the gym (namely, Levi). So, we were off to the gym. The guy who sold us the gym membership was named something that sounded like Mike Wazowski except I think his name was Joe. He tried telling us all these different deals and how if you do this start-up fee then your monthly fee is only this much!, but if you do this, then wow! You get a free pony! And a number of other things that didn’t actually fly with me because I have mastered the basic art of doing math. So we obviously went with the option that was the cheapest and most logical because again, math.

So like I said, the gym. The reason why I actually do kind of like this gym is because they have those aerobics classes. I know you can all imagine me pumping iron and stuff, but I’ll let you in on a little secret and the secret is that I actually never pump iron. I’ve barely mastered the treadmill and I think that will suffice for now. But like I was saying, those classes. They have Zumba and Body Works Plus Abs (though I could really do without the abs part), Yoga, Water Aerobics, Cycling, and the like. These are good options for me. No, really they are. I like to have someone telling me what to do and forcing me to jump around and do crunches and stuff because we all know what it would be like if I was running my own workout at home (enter: cookies).

Because you see, the gym. If I didn’t have the classes, I would basically be forced to follow Levi around and do whatever he does. Oh, wait I’m sorry, I said that wrong. It would really be more like Levi would be forced to drag me along with him and show me how to do everything. Then, after five minutes of lifting three pound weights, I would be like, hey is it time to go yet? Also have I told you that funny story about my coworker? Also, my hands are sweaty. Wanna hear a joke? And Levi would do that thing where he sighs and rolls his eyes but also smiles and then he would say no. Which is really rude. And then he would make me pick up the five(!) pound weights and then he’d make me do a million crunches and then use a machine that’s probably supposed to be working my abs but really it’s just making me sweat and I’d be whining again and Levi wouldn’t actually get a work out in and it would be zero percent enjoyable for all parties involved (except for anyone watching, I suppose).

Because what I’m trying to say is, the gym. When you go to those classes, you have teachers who are sometimes old and cranky, or sometimes a little bit too hippie, or sometimes even fun. But at the end of the day, none of them are your husband. Which means none of them will still love you even if you whine and complain. And none of them will be amused by your zero effort. And none of them will think it’s funny when you talk about cookies the entire time. They all just make you work. And work constantly. For an hour. Which I guess is good for me. So the moral of this story is that I’m going to let my husband be my husband and let my gym teachers be my gym teachers. Because that’s doing the right thing for everyone. Also because I don’t want any of my gym teachers coming home to dinner with me and telling me to eat more vegetable like Levi does. Because that would be weird.

Although I will admit that it would be pretty hilarious if Levi taught me a Zumba class. In spandex, of course.

yum yum candy bars.

1. I remember when I was growing up my mom would buy candy bars from the grocery store which would then be stored in the freezer and then those would be our treat on Friday night when my parents would go out on a date. I also remember that sometimes my dad would go in there during the week and sneak half of a candy bar. Now, I don't care that he was taking some of our precious Friday night candy, what I care about is the fact that he would only take HALF of a candy bar. Half of a Snickers, half of an Almond Joy, half of whatever. And what I want to know is how do people do that?!?? If I'm going to have a candy bar, I'm going to have the WHOLE DANG CANDY BAR. Do not attempt to stop me because I want all of it. I think I'm saying this mostly just to justify the Hershey's bar I'm eating right now. ALL of the Hershey's bar that I'm eating right now.

2. Also I remember that the Friday night candy was very important to us and I remember that it was very important that we never ate it on any other day of the week, nor would we eat more than one candy bar on Friday night, however tempting it might have been. And for that, I give myself a high five for self-control because if there was a large bag of frozen candy bars in my freezer right now you could guarantee that there would not be a bag of frozen candy bars in my freezer right now. Because I would have eaten them all already.

3. For the record, I ate 3/4 of the Hershey's bar. Small victories.

4. Also, I really like Rolo's. I gave Levi a bag of Rolo's for his birthday and I know for a fact that I ate at least 95% of them. In other news, my mom used to get Rolo's for the Friday night candy bag. I love Rolo's. But it was always such a debate as to whether or not I should choose Rolo's for my Friday night treat because Rolo's are one of the few candy bars that are NOT better frozen. In fact, they are zero good. So if I was to pick the Rolo's, I would have to wait for them to warm up, which would usually mean they would have to spend half an hour smashed between two couch cushions or under my armpit or something (still in the wrapper, mind you) and 8-year-old Stacy did not have that kind of patience! (And in case you were wondering, she still doesn't). So usually I went with the Kit Kat.

5. I just wrote a post about candy bars.

6. Now I want the last 1/4 of that Hershey's bar.

7. I also want some Rolo's.

8. Or a Kit Kat.

9. Also a nap.

10. Okay bye.

Also, I was trying to find an appropriate picture for this post when I saw the picture I posted above. I could not figure out why on earth I had that random picture but then I realized it's a picture of Levi attempting to cool himself off in the freezer at his parents' house. Which is funny. And surprising, it kind of sort of fits with the theme of this post.

what I've been eating lately. which you obviously care a great deal about.

I want to tell you what I've been eating lately.

I'm not kidding when I say I've been thinking about writing a post like this for months. That may or may not have to do with the fact that I basically went without a kitchen and normal dinners for 2 months, but still. I also have no idea how interesting this will be. I mean, can I make food sound interesting? It's worth a try.

via

CHICKEN AND BROCCOLI CASSEROLE

First up is a tried and true recipe that everyone should have in their repertoire (also, totes def couldn't spell that word). That, my friends, would be Chicken and Broccoli Casserole. Now, I'm all for using canned soup and whatever, but I just happened upon this recipe and it has worked for me and we love it. Except you should know that I put in like a teaspoon or two of curry powder and oh my gosh, I'll die happy. Also, you should know that I love the blog that this comes from except that a few months ago she announced that she's gluten free and so now her recipes will be gluten free which is neat but I guess I really love gluten. #notbeingglutenfreeprobs But still, she has AMAZING recipes.

via

EASY CALZONES

Up next, Easy Calzones. But seriously, easy. If you look at the recipe, she gives you all the deets for making calzones of the sausage-y variety but I prefer to just stick with the pepperoni version because duh, it tastes good and takes like 4 minutes to put together. Levi claims that these are moving up on his list of favorite things that I make although he might warn you that eating like 5 or 6 for dinner may or may not have been the best choice for him. Oh well, we can't all make the best choices for our stomachs 100% of the time. I'm pretty sure that Bruce Bogtrotter from the cake scene in Matilda would agree with us.

APRICOT CHICKEN (sorry, no picture. just believe that it's amazing because it is)

This next one is a recipe from my sister that came from her roommate. It is important that we all have sisters who have roommates who have good recipes, especially recipes that are one million billion easy. There is no link to this recipe but it is as follows:

Apricot Chicken
Chicken
1/2 c Russian/Catalina Salad dressing
1/2 c Apricot jam (I only had apricot pineapple jam at the time, still tasted delish)
1 pkg Onion Soup mix
1 tsp curry powder (I didn't put this in, but I'm sure it would have been delicious)

Put it all in a crockpot for like 8 hours and bada-bing, bada-boom! Yum. Serve with rice of course. Also, I basically double this so that we could have more sauce. I probs didn't need to do that, but you live and learn. Also I didn't measure anything because measuring things like salad dressing and apricot jam seem like a waste of time when I could just as well squirt and dump whilst guesstimating appropriate amounts. But to each his own.

MAGICAL TURKEY BURGERS (also no picture but also still amazing)

Another one from the sister's roommate vault. My sister calls them magical turkey burgers and I would have to agree. Make these bad boys, put them on your George Foreman (wedding gift, oh yeah! Thanks, Somers!) for like eight minutes and then be so so happy. Again, no link, but listen and learn.

Magical Turkey Burgers
3/4 c seasoned bread crumbs
1/3 c crumbled feta cheese
1/4 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp garlic powder
2-3 tbsp pesto
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1.25-1.5 lb ground turkey
(makes six burgers)

Oh man, you guys. We had these for dinner last night and I will totes def one million be having one for lunch. Very magical. We had these with an AMAZING avocado & grilled corn salad with cilantro vinaigrette that my sister-in-law gave me the recipe for. SUCH a good recipe and I don't even love cilantro. I wasn't going to take the time to write out that recipe, but now I just feel like I need to.

AVOCADO & GRILLED CORN SALAD with CILANTRO VINAIGRETTE

4 grilled ears of corn--brush with olive oil prior to grilling (or if you are lacking in the grill dept as we are, I would recommend frozen corn grilled on a skillet with 1 tbsp olive oil--works great!)
2 avocados
4 tomatoes (or in my case, 3 since tomatoes make me sad)
1/2 red onion, diced
3/4 c feta (perfect, since I was already using the feta for the burgers)
Romaine and red leaf lettuce
Grilled chicken (or in my case, I had some previously cooked shredded chicken so I just browned that a bit on the stove and threw it in!)
1 diced red pepper (unfortunately, as much as I love peppers, they give me heartburn so I left this out. sad.)
cilantro leaves (I was running low on cilantro, so I just had it in the dressing)

Dressing
6 tbsp olive oil
1/5 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp sugar
3-4 tbsp fresh cilantro
1/2 tsp salt
5-10 grinds fresh ground pepper
Throw it all in the blender and blend! Then pour on top of the salad.

This proved to create a fabulous dinner. Levi says I've been stepping up my game lately because I've been serving more than just a main course. As in I've been making side dishes and I must say, I've been quite proud of myself and it really is an accomplishment for me.

via

CHOCOLATE COVERED OREO COOKIE CAKE

And as my parting recipe for you today (even though I have like a million more I want to share), I give you the Chocolate Covered Oreo Cookie Cake, which will quite literally make all your dreams come true. This recipe came from one of my mom's really good friends, Carol. This cake is SO easy to make and I'm being serious because I'm am one of the least talented baketresses out there. Of course, I was going to tell you about how their recipe for the glaze was terrible! just awful! came out as runny as water! But then I looked at the recipe more closely just now and noticed that it does not say 4 pieces of bakers chocolate. It says 4 ounces. Now I feel quite foolish because I ended up finding a different glaze recipe somewhere else when really I just needed to add more chocolate. Well, like I said, we can't all make the best choices all the time.

So anyway, yeah. There are some recipes. I've found a crazy number of new and delicious recipes lately so it's really exciting for me even though I'll probably hit another dry spell next week. It is what it is, right?

Also, Taylor Swift's new album. How excited are we all because I am ONE MILLION BILLION excited. As I noted on facebook this morning, you may have noticed that her new album is entitled "1989" which is the year I was born. You may also have noticed that her album comes out on October 27th, which OH YEAH is my 11/12 birthday. Coincidence??? I think not. This is probs going to be my favorite album yet since it's basically dedicated to me. I also have a strong feeling that she wanted to release it on my birthday, but then she realized that my birthday is on Thanksgiving (#occasionallynationalholidaybirthdayprobs), so the second best choice would be my 11/12 birthday. Thank you, Taylor. You're so thoughtful.

gettin' our birthday on, changing my name to meta world stace, etc.

To start things off, this is us right after we picked up our new tv. Not a joke, Levi was doing excited little screams for a solid 30 seconds because he was so excited. I love this picture though. Picking up the tv was our last errand after a long day of errands. It's good to spend my Saturdays with this guy.

Speaking of pictures, I've been organizing our pictures today in preparation for potentially hanging them up. The thing is, we only have pictures from our wedding. And I can't tell if that's a bad thing. Like, is it bad to hang up like 6 pictures of just us in our living room? I mean, I can't exactly figure out what other kinds of pictures we should hang because we've been married for not even three months so I mean, the only major event that we've had together was our wedding. I would post pictures of our kids, but we don't have any of those, so that won't work. Anyway, I obviously want to get other things to hang along with the pictures, but I haven't gotten that far yet. So what I'm trying to say is that if you come over, don't judge the bajillion pictures of us all over the place. After all, I think we look pretty cute. Anyway, that's all I had to say on that matter.

Also, this picture is meant for my family and of course, Katie Cutler. There's this story about my childhood (that my mom told to Katie once) that includes me being like 2 or 3 years old and having a terrible fit. Apparently, we were out running errands and in an attempt to cheer me up when we arrived at Costco, my mom pointed up to the Costco sign which looked very much like the one above. She said, "Look, Stacy! Costco has no C!" to which I responded in the most tearful and dramatic fashion that could be mustered, "Costco has no C!! Cooooooostco has no Ceeeeeeeeee!!!!" I mean, imagine full on drama. I still don't understand why I wasn't cast into a movie right then and there. Anyway, it's a funny little family story, and when my family was in town, we went to Crest grocery store and would you look at that sign?! So a picture was required, obvi.

Also when my family was here, we went to a minor league baseball game--the OKC Redhawks! As you can tell from the picture, the stadium was packed. Jokes. Three home runs came straight to us and even though there were only like four other people even remotely close to us, we somehow were unable to get any of them. But that's okay. What's really important is to know that when the teenager dressed up as Superman went running around the field throwing shirts to the crowd, I get my scream on and yelled and yelled at that guy to throw us a shirt. And even with all the competition surrounding him (i.e. my mom), Levi managed to snatch the awesome Redhawks shirt. Yesssss.

Also while my parents were here we somehow managed not to get any pictures of the whole group, but we did manage to get multiple pictures of Levi with his early birthday gifts from my parents and from me (because while I might look patient, I can't wait to give gifts). So when we celebrated Levi's birthday early, he open his two new shirts!

On his real birthday, I put together this silly little Star Wars gift that I had found on line over a month ago and I am proud to say that I kept it a secret until the day of his birthday and I was feeling pretty awesome about it. Also, Levi is seriously considering a modeling career. Those interested in having him model for them may contact me directly. I expect to receive 75% of any profit.

And finally in birthday news, I made a pie. I successfully made a pie and you should know it was incredibly stressful, but I did it. Not a joke, I was sure I was going to mess it up, but both the pie and I survived and actually it was quite delicious. I now have much more confidence in myself and may attempt making another pie in the future.

Also, good news. I changed my name. No, I did not change the way I look, in case you thought that was me in the picture above. Of course it's not me, I wouldn't be caught in public wearing a shirt like that. Ha, no but really. This was taken while I waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, aaaaaaaaaand waited. (That sentence was meant to be read to the tune of "Pioneer Children Sang as they walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, aaaaaaaaaand walked.) Although I'll have you know that there was no singing involved. Anyway, my name is now officially Meta World Stace. Such a nice ring to it, don't you think? Okay, fine jokes. My name is actually Stacy Marie Heperi. Woo, get it girl! Thank you.

And in closing, this is a picture of Levi's 5th grade classroom on the day we first saw it. It has since been organized and there are colorful posters and such all over the wall--although, don't worry. It's not too girly. Levi's manhood was at stake though when everyone was offering him all these bulletin board borders covered in owls. I personally thought they were really cute and wanted to use them, but Levi opted for plain red and black ones. I don't get it.

Anyway, today was Levi's first day of school! And as I type he is within minutes of ending the school day and walking out the door. I'm so happy for him and so happy that the school year has started and we can finally settle into a routine! I can't tell you how many teachers have commented to him and to me about how glad they are to have a male teacher at the school (he's the only male in the building besides the P.E. teacher and the Special Ed teacher). Levi is teaching at the poorest school in Oklahoma City. All of the kids qualify for free breakfast, lunch, and weekend snacks as well as free uniforms. Not very many of them have fathers in the picture and 30% of them are homeless, which breaks my heart. So I'm really proud of Levi for what he's doing and I look forward to this school year as I'm sure we will see many sad things but I'm sure we will also see a lot of great things and a lot of blessings come as a result of this experience. Yay for fifth grade!