genius, yo.

This week I'm pretty sure I proved to the world that I am a genius.  Why am I a genius?  Because I do smart things. That's what makes you a genius.  You wouldn't understand...unless you are a genius, too.

ANYWAY.

First Example of Geniusness:

This week I had to work in the evening.  I NEVER, I repeat, NEVER have to work in the evening. Which is quite excellent.  But this one time I did.  Have to work in the evening, that is.  I went to this seminar for the College of Engineering and Technology.  Since I have already established the fact that I am a genius, I am sure that you are assuming it was a wonderful seminar about engineering stuff and big words and complicated information that only geniuses would understand.  Alas, such was not the case.  It was actually called Dress for Success.  When I first heard that title, I assumed it was something about how to act professional and tips for writing a resume and stuff.  But no.  It was actually really just about how to dress.  It was kiiiiiiiind of a amazing.  I learned many things, specifically things about men's fashion.  Which of course meant that it was time to buy Levi some new clothes.  Church clothes to be precise!  Oh how excited I was!

So the very next day we had to take my brother to JC Penney to return some pants, so we were like, what the heck. Let's check to see if they have anything good.  LITTLE DID I KNOW, we happened to get there an hour after the ultimate doorbuster sale started where everything was 60% off!  Man, am I good or what?  Because we all know only a genius would have known to come to JC Penney at that exact time to see a sale that was only going to last until 1 pm the next day.  Aaaaaand we found some awesome pants, a shirt, and a tie for a STILL OF A DILL.  Plus also, Levi looks most excellent in his new business attire if I do say so myself.

Oh, and Tom came with us, hence the awesome snapchat seen above.

Second Example of Geniusness:

The other day I was sitting at work when Katie came to visit me. You see, I eat lunch with Katie Cutler every day (except for on Fridays when I eat lunch with my little brother, but that's beside the point).  The point is that on that particular day I had gone to eat lunch with my old boss who is the greatest and who I miss so very much.  Anyway, because of that, Katie came by and visited me at work (also, she brought along her bathrobe/martial arts uniform because OH YEAH. She's taking a martial arts class. Please.  Let the images of Katie doing martial arts begin to flow within your mind.). So there she was talking to me, when she discovered my business cards.  Yes, friends.  That's right. I have a business card.  I mean, maaaaaybe the printing company made a small error, but it's nothing really.  It was an easy fix.  See?

And as my parting news to you, I would like to inform you of the fact that today I worked at the Career Fair checking people in for six hours today.  For the record, I checked in 833 people in six hours, and about 700 in the first four hours.  Can I just do a little math for you and inform you that I checked in about three people a minute (also side note, I did that math super quickly in the bathroom a little while ago so hopefully it's right), which might not sound that bad, but please remember that I had to do this shpeel pleasantly EVERY SINGLE TIME:

"Hi. What's you major? (make sure it's an engineering major, otherwise "You're going to want to check in at that table right over there) Awesome. Do you have your ID card?  Great.  Maps and name tags are right over here, and then you're going to need to check any bags or backpacks in in the room across the hall."  Also I had to repeatedly yell to the masses of people that "I can take any engineering majors over here!" and "Please be sure to have your ID cards out and ready!" over and over and over and OVER.  It was awesome.  No, but really.  I strangely enjoy stuff like that.  Call me cray cray.  The only bummer was the fact that I had to wear a skirt and I just don't like wearing skirts to work.  Also, I probs should have worn heels.  But I drew the line at heels because ain't nobody got time for that.  Also, in case you were curious, YES. I did work out this morning and YES. I did consume two full water bottles while doing so and so YES. I did need to go to the bathroom so very extremely one million much the whole day.  Thank you so much for asking.

the day I had better seats than members of the first presidency. I mean, I'm just sayin'.

Guess what, foolios?  Football season has begun!

On Saturday morning, I woke up with an uncomfortable feeling in my throat.  As in, the beginnings of a sore throat.  Ugh, you guys. Sore throats. Why?  Why do they even need to exist?  The thing about sore throats is that it's not a visible ailment, but it's actually like the worst.  It hurts on the inside and I don't want to talk about it and actually I just don't want to talk at all.  And then the usual aftermath (or currentmath? is that a thing?) is that I get a terrible cough and then a runny nose and then pressure builds up in my head and my ears and everything is terrible and my head explodes.

Okay, well maybe not.  The head exploding part, that is.  But the rest, ugh. It's the pits.  Anyway, what I wanted to say is that it all began on Saturday and here I am today on a Thursday and the sore throat lives on! And the coughing continues! And the runny nose runs! Mostly I'm just sick of it (no pun intended).

But back to Saturday.  In the morning I had a training meeting that I needed to attend (free breakfast! woo!) and then after that we went to the bookstore to buy football shirts!  The bookstore is selling these royal blue shirts this year in addition to the dark navy-ish blue ones and I decided to go big (and not go home--get it?) and buy the more expensive royal blue one, because you know, I'm rich and stuff. Okay, no. I got it mostly because if you're at BYU long enough, you end up with approximately one million navy blue shirts that you don't know what to do with and then they end up getting crammed into one little drawer and you want to wear them all but the three on top are the most convenient so then some of the other ones get lonely and rarely worn in the bottom back corner of the drawer.  You know how it is.

Anyway, with my BYU employee discount and a variety of other discounts that I have obtained by dating Levi, I got the shirt for a STILL OF A DILL. Also, Levi got one, too.  And you know what that means....TWIN DAYYYYY for DAYYYZZZZZ.  Ha, he hates it. And obviously I love it.

So then we went back to my apartment, made asian chicken salad (we're cultured like that) and then Levi was getting so super mega one million excited to head to the game which was set to start at 5 pm.  You see, we had ticketed seats (another perk to dating Levi, let me tell you.), which meant we could show up five minutes before the game and not even worry about all the best seats being taken (the story of the student all-sport pass. oy.)  But we're talking about Levi here and kid loves football.  And I love that he loves it and I am entirely supportive of his desire to be there about half and hour before the game starts. It's all good.  So we were getting ready to leave and he had gone over to his apartment to change into his BRAND NEW AWESOME SHIRT that MATCHED MINE so we could be TWINS! when all of a sudden it started POURING rain.  Like 100% out of control, straight up monsoon. Crazy cray cray wind.  It was totes ridic.  The streets flooded in minutes (maybe flooding is an exaggeration, but fo rizzle, that did happen in some areas).  Half of the roof to Levi's apartment building flew off.  That's not actually a joke.  I know you don't believe me, but for real.  Okay, so only like the covering stuff came off; the actual wood part of the roof remained, but STILL. A bunch of the apartments started leaking (i.e. Levi's apartment). So that was good.

Then Levi came back over and we watched the rain continue to pour down and the time we had said we would leave came and went.  The rain continued to come down crazy hard and I began to worry about the words that I knew were just about to come out of Levi's mouth.

"I know you're going to hate me, but do you want to head over to the game?"

Being ever so supportive, I said that would be fine but I also threw in a little, "Hey, but don't you think with weather like this it might be delayed?  Don't you think we should check twitter for updates?"

He agreed and we waited a few minutes and then finally it was announced that the game would be delayed until the storm passed. Hallelujah.  We watched people running down the streets DRENCHED from head to toe and I really didn't want to be one of them.  I mean, I would have done it, but it probably would have been a slightly unpleasant experience.  Also, my tender and fragile health!  It had to be preserved!  No, but seriously.  I would have been happy to go, but it was much better that we got to stay indoors until the rain passed and the announcement came that the game was set to start soon.

We headed over and got there about 15 or 20 minutes before kick-off.  Now, I wouldn't know, but apparently if you get there before the game starts the band plays.  And they are actually quite talented and make interesting shapes and such.  It's wild.  The perks of being early, I guess.

Also, Levi's dad gets really good seats to the game. Right along the 50 yard line! It was fantastic.  But that wasn't even the best part!  The best part was that our seats were like 5 rows in front of Pres. Uchtdorf and Elder Holland and Elder Perry (and my old American Heritage teacher who I was obsessed with, but that's beside the point).  Yes, that's right folks.  We were in FRONT of them.

Okay, so maybe they were in the special boxes that are expensive and protect you from the elements, but STILL.  And also maybe they get food catered to them including cheescake (Yes, it's true.  I stood right outside the box and stared at Elder Holland while he ate his cheesecake.  I've had classier moments). BUT STILL.  We were in front of them.  And that's what matters, right?

The only other thing that matters is that BYU won.  Against a high ranked team.  BYU is awesome.

The end.

conversations with levi, part 2.

So it's been forever and a day since I last blogged. My b.  But! What better way to get back into blogging than to have another episode of Conversations with Levi?

Let's start off with this picture, because it's funny.

This picture is from when Levi was helping move to my new apartment.  He found this jacket of mine, put it on and came up to me and said: "Excuse me, have you seen my sled dogs? You see, the day is hot and my igloo has melted."

Me: Levi, I feel like having Chinese for dinner.

Levi: Like Panda? Do you feel like having Panda? I'll buy you Panda! But if I'm going to buy you a panda, you're going to ride it to work.

(Talking to his computer screen while he's on Facebook)

Levi: Why won't any of my friends talk to me?

(While lying on the ground and stroking him shirt one day)

Levi: If I was rich, I'd wear a lot of fur.  It would be like petting a cat all day.

Levi: Stacy, how would you feel if I gained 50 pounds? Then I would have a nice belly and I could rest things on it.  Like my hands. Or a cup.  Man, life would be so good if I had a big belly.

Me: Stop. No. Stop it. Stop wanting that.

(One day while he was eating something)

Levi: Do you want me to show you how llamas eat?

(One day when we had come back from the farmer's market, he suddenly had a southern accent and was acting drunk and falling all over me)

Levi: If we lived in the south, this is how it would be when I cam home late from the pub: "Hey baby dolllllll. Hey honey buns. Yo man back. Yeaaaaaahh. He back."

One day Levi called me about one minute before I got off of work.  I thought he would just tell me something really quick so that I could close up the office, but the conversation went like this:

Levi: Hey, are you at work?

Me: Yeah.

Levi: Good. Because I have many important matters of business I need to discuss right now.

Me: Oh brother. I'm hanging up.

And then on a different day, he called me again:

Levi: Hey, are you at work?

Me: No, I just left.

Levi: Then I have nothing to say to you.

(One day Levi was getting a little whiny about how he has rugby practice soon and I wasn't giving him very much sympathy)

Levi: "Shu up! You try playin' rugbay!" 

(I don't know what kind of accent that is, but he definitely dropped the t in shut and it was hilarious.)

(One day when he was doing the dishes)

Levi: You know that song, 'Ain't No Sunshine When He's Gone?' I think around here we could change that to 'Ain't No Dishes Done When He's Gone'.

Me: Rude.

And then my favorite was when he walked into the kitchen one day and said...

Levi: You know what? Beyonce just gets me.

Kid kills me.