Sunday, March 17, 2013

YOLO, baby.

So remember how I wrote this slightly embarrassing post about Rachel?  Well, I realized that I probably blog about hilariously dumb things that she does a little too much and so I thought it was only fair if I tell a somewhat embarrassing story about myself today.  I think this officially makes me a pretty good friend because I can think of so many embarrassing stories about Rach that I could be telling instead, but alas.  You're worth this.

It was my freshman year and we had Stake Conference, which is when about ten congregations meet together for a meeting together (oh my gosh, can you please read that sentence again because instead of explaining what Stake Conference is, I actually just repeated myself. I suck).  I had decided to wear a skirt that was fairly flowy and not too constricting that had about a million buttons that buttoned all the way up the front.  Anyway, as me and my roommates walked in, I was the first one to walk down the row that we were going to sit in.  But then my roommates decided they wanted to sit one row closer to the front.

But here's the thing. I had already committed myself to that row, you guys!  I had already taken at least 9 steps into that row and I wasn't about to just go 9 steps back only to have to go another 9 steps into the next row.  I shouldn't have to do all that extra work. I mean, I'm worth more than that.

So the obvious solution to this dilemma was to simply jump over that row of chairs.

(This is the part where I should say YOLO, right?)

I can tell you're concerned that I was in church and I was jumping over a pew.  But here's the thing: since it was a bigger meeting than normal, we were meeting in the Smith Fieldhouse (a huge gym), and they have slightly stadium seating, so it wasn't like I was going to jump up and over a pew or anything. This makes it so much better, right?

And so I hopped, as ladylike as ever, just like any normal person would do. Pop-pop-pop-pop! I heard that sound and at first I couldn't figure out where it was coming from.  But then I looked down and to my horror I saw that the buttons from my skirt had popped off and were just now bouncing and  landing on the ground. Oh crap, was all I could think as I realized that my skirt that had once buttoned ALL the way up the front now had only TWO buttons remaining. TWO, you guys.  TWO BUTTONS LEFT.  Every other button was now taunting me from the ground, immediately reminding me that I had made a horrible choice by jumping over the chairs. An incredibly, unbelievably terrible choice because now I stood there, essentially flashing hundreds of other people.  Truly one of the more proud moments of my life.

As my roommates (Rachel included) laughed hysterically at my predicament (because let's be honest, it was pretty funny and I mean, at least those two buttons were still attached so I was at least mildly decent), I immediately sat down and tried to figure out what I should do.  I eventually figured that I should turn the skirt so that my newly-created, ever-so-scandalous slit would go up the side of my leg instead of straight up the front.  Then I collected bobby pins from all my roommates and attempted to use them to keep my skirt together, but mostly I just had a death grip on my skirt for the rest of the night.

Needless to say, I haven't done a whole lot of row-hopping since then.

6 comments: said...

funny story!

Amanda Villagómez said...

So hilarious! I can imagine your initial curiosity over the sound, followed by the realization of what it was. I am glad that you had your friends with you!

Anonymous said...

I love your story! It made me laugh. I especially like the personification you used in the line, " Every other button was now taunting me from the ground..." Great voice!

Anonymous said...

That made me giggle! Your writing definitely painted a picture in my mind. :)

Shannon Mashinchi said...


I love reading your is on my daily list of "to read." This one cracked me up...I can totally envision the whole thing..horrifying, embarrassing, hilarious! Thanks for sharing..


PS found the reactions...thanks! :)

Anonymous said...

Pahaha I love this story! Still gets me every time. Such a funny day. I should have reported you to the honor code.