Friday, March 15, 2013


Today Rachel told me a story.  Rachel has told me about a million stories, but somehow I had never heard this one until today.  And you guys.  I swear I have not laughed as hard as I did when I heard this story since the time Sean told me his mom throws slabs of meat at homeless people (which is awful, but incredibly hilarious to imagine).  Anyway, what I'm saying is that I laughed SO hard. I was crying and I couldn't stop.  Also, I'm writing this paragraph last and I j want to say that I seriously laughed while writing every sentence. Not a joke, foolz.

And now, our story.

One time Rachel was at a Youth Conference and they were going to do a service project.  Being the typical teenager that she was, she wanted to do whichever service project was the easiest.  I can only assume that there were things like digging dirt, painting fences, weeding, and a variety of other things out in the sun.  But our Rachel, being the ever-so-dainty girl that she is, was not about to get herself dirty.  She patiently waited for them to announce some other service project, something easier, something cleaner, something that wouldn't even break a nail.  So when the service project announcer yelled out, "Who wants to do polishing?!" we all know that our girl Rachel was the first one to shoot her hand up because I mean, come on. Polishing?  Girl can handle that. She wouldn't even have to wear those awful work gloves that make your hands all sweaty and gross and since it was polishing, she was sure to be inside the whole time.  So Rachy Rach headed off with the rest of the polishing group, particularly proud of herself for being able to weasel her way out of something sweaty.  As she met up with her group, she noticed that it was made up of a bunch of big, strong men and then her, a scrawny little girl with an attitude. She thought it was weird that all the big guys would want to do polishing, but whatevs.  They headed off to meet up with the project leader and to get going on that polishing.

When they met up with the project leader, the first thing he said was, "Alright!  Who's ready to do some demolishing?!"

The image that appears in my mind at this part of the story could keep me laughing for DAYZ, you guys.  Apparently our girl Rachel has trouble differentiating between the word "polish" and "demolish." All I can imagine is all of them having these Thor-sized hammers.  All the big buff guys have them over their shoulders, but Rach is struggling to even lift hers.  YOU GUYS. The image is so fantastic in my mind right now.

And that, my friends, concludes another episode of hilarious things that Rachel does. Right up there with wearing tie-dye overall shorts to a formal event. WINNING.


Chris H. said...

That is funny, and I just substituted a girly-girl I know for Rachel. Sometimes there is such a thing as poetic justice.

Shannon Mashinchi said...

I love your blog...cracks me up every day! Thanks for the share!

Mom said...

Laughed the whole way through that post! I have seen my share of these girls at Youth Conferences (sorry Rach), and and have to agree with the post above--poetic justice...SO sweet:)!