S&R, Episode 1

 

Many moons ago, I promised Rach that if she hung out with me, I'd post some of our old facebook convos.  Holy cow, they are seriously the funniest thing to me.  I have to be honest to my faithful readers, you probably won't understand 99% of this, and I'm sorry, but not actually that sorry.  This convo is about the roommate tryouts we planned to have when one of us got married.

So hilarious.

Summer 2009

RACHEL:

yeah i know! i keep thinking about that too. dang stace, if you get married before me, and i have to get a new roommate, i will never talk to you again.

blah, well, i guess we could always hold tryouts for the one that doesn't get married first. for example, if you get married first, you would be responsible for organizing tryouts to be my new roommate. you would have to ask them questions like: "if i said i was 'starving' what would be your argument?", "when i make a twirly finger with my pointer finger, what does that mean?", "how far do you like your door to be open while you sleep?", "how do you place your clock/computer before going to bed?", "do you enjoy the smell of 'wet dog'?", "does anyone come in every single night and takes your sock off right when you fall asleep?", " do you spend more time watching people in the periodicals section than you do studying?", "do you enjoy eating tuna?", or "when you look at the clock at 11:27 or 12:27, what is your immediate response?".

STACY:
that was a really good wall post. i thoroughly enjoyed it. you get an A for it (you don't get an A+ because in order to get that, you would have needed to make it longer.) i was chuckling the whole time. gosh, you know me too well.

you might want to consider adding a few more things to that list of questions...things like

1. do you always keep track of your roommates belongings so as to be able to tell her where they are when she loses them? (although after next year, keys will no longer be an issue...we are going to be good and you're going to pick one spot to put them, and you're only allowed to put them in that one spot.)
2. how do you say the following words: especially, faults, chelsea, false.
3. when i ask you how i look, will you look at me before you give me an answer? and what would the answer be?
4. do you like chicken Caesar salad? do you know how to make it?
5. do you know how to figure out the context of a story without it being given?

‎6. do you own the perfect eyelash curler? (such the important question)

7. when is your birthday? (if it's not on the 27th, applicant must be removed from room without further questioning.)
8. did you pray about whether or not you should try out for the position of rachel's roommate?

this could (and should) get much more extensive. i must be present for the interviews and the entire process of selecting a roommate for you.

RACHEL:

hey now, that's not fair that i got only an A because i hit the max amount of characters, so i couldn't have made it longer. you suck as a teacher.

oh, but i loved your posts too. ha, that's funny. i really liked 3, 5, 6 (AND i am missing that terribly. i seriously don't even try. it's a waste of time. i just slap the mascara on instead), 7, and 8. 7 is waaaay funny and so true. no sympathy. i will not budge. if they aren't born the 27th, *sscccckkkkk* (that's my slicing of the throat noise). i have a few to add as well,

1. do you find yourself sporadically worrying about when the last time the door knobs were cleaned?
2. are you annoyed when people do not recycle?
3. when you brush your teeth, do you turn the water off when are doing the actual brushing?
4. have you ever had the urge to use someone else's shampoo, face wash, soap, razor, or washcloth?
5. how many cups of water to you need when you go to the cougareat?
6. on a scale of 1-10, how much to do you like the police beat?

‎7. if you saw a toothbrush plugged in and charging, what would you do?
8. do you leave all the lights on when you leave the house?
9. what temperature would you keep the apartment at in the winter?
10. do you make yummy treats?

STACY:

oh, gosh. 1, 2, 3. i knew they were coming. 5, haaaaha, my fav.

1. how do you feel about crachel?
2. what time to you go to bed aka are you willing to talk for approx 7 hours before even thinking about going to sleep?
3. do you like rachel's boyfriend ross?
4. do you like eggs?
5. are you willing to drive rachel to work when she has to work at the bowling alley?

 

So good, that best friend of mine.  So dang good.