Saturday, May 28, 2011

i thought we were friends.

Shows how little I know.

That's right.  You've all been fired from friendship.

Would you like to know why?  I'll tell you.

Yesterday was May 27.

...and I'm pretty upset that none of you wished me a happy half birthday.

This is a picture of me yelling at you.

Now, all hard feelings aside, I just want you to know that this horrible wrong-doing on your part can be fixed.  Here are a few ways:

1. Return my books to the library for me.

2. Remove all forms of Gilmore Girls from my apartment because it's addicting.

3. Clean my room for me--that includes vacuuming with our vacuum built in 1923.

4. Improve Utah's "summer" weather.

5. Take me on a shopping spree--that would be clothing and groceries.  Those tater tots and slim jims are calling my name--and they're just out of my regular price range.

6. Find my socks that I really know, the ones that can be worn with flats.  I've lost three of them. (Not three pairs, just three socks).

7. Make baseball be on my T.V.--specifically, Red Sox games. (Which just so happens to remind me of the time my family was in Boston and we were taking a tour of Fenway and my mom asked who Curt Shilling was then that I cut her out of my will).

8. Buy me chocolate covered cinnamon bears--but not too many, because regardless of how many you get me, I will eat them all in less than 24 hours.

9. Put an elevator in my building--the six flights of stairs are getting old.

10. Come to my apartment wearing a clown suit and then proceed to dance and juggle various objects and have one of those flower pin things that actually squirts water and have one of those rainbow wigs on while you're at it.

So, just pick an item or 2 or 10 on this list, do what it says for me, and our friendship will be back in business.


Anne said...

1. you never wished me a happy half birthday, so were even. sorry bout it.

2. you make me laugh. have fun with that vacuum.

3. i think you should sue your apartment complex because wheelchair people cannot get up the stairs and i feel persecuted personally by the lack of elevator. just sayin. you were disabled once, so you should feel their pain.

4. i feel ya on the baseball tv thing. we get like 20 channels (and don't pay for anything so i probably shouldnt complain but still...) approx 10 are in spanish, 5 are local access, 2 are home shopping networks, and theres 2 that play the exact same thing at all times. if you do the math, that means the giants are almost never on. LAME-O MUCH.

Leslie said...

2 things
Yesterday was the 28th and I don't believe that you wished me a happy half birthday.


I would love to take the Gilmore Girls from your apartment. Anytime. :)

rachalford said...

Take shopping- check
Socks- check (I let you borrow mine a bunch)
Utah's Summer weather- check

you're welcome